Wow. That is some story. I don't think it's abnormal, because it sounds like a phobia that manifests itself from a deep-rooted fear of dying, and lots of people have phobias that manifest from a deep-rooted fear of dying.
I'm going to apologize in advance if your phobia makes my response difficult for you to read.
Here goes:
For me, it's not quite the same, but it is disturbing enough.
When I was little, I couldn't go to sleep because my heart in my ears sounding like "potato chips crunching". It made me crazy. Now that I learn I have this congenital mitral valve prolapse, which has caused me to have blackouts, or what I consider to be tiny little deaths, the regurgitations in my heart sounds and feels repulsive to me - perhaps because it is an imperfection, because I know it is the reason why I have to take extra good care of myself all the time, or because it physically feels a little freaky.
Heartbeat sound effects in movies only sound cheesy to me - I can't recall one effective heartbeat sound effect in a movie or on tv. They just cheapen the story.
I had the opportunity to hold and explore two human hearts, and also I visited museums that had exhibits on hearts and surgery, and I think I've come to terms with the fact that we're a.) designed beautifully and intricately, and b.) all gonna die (which, and I'm certainly no doctor so I could be very, very wrong, but I think in its deepest level your fear/disgust might be stemming from fear of our mortality, that heartbeat sound being horrible evidence of the fragility of life).
Maybe if you could find a way to get into a room of cadavers for med students in a hospital and touch and feel a dead human heart, you might feel a little bit more at ease, I don't know. The cadavers are soaked in embalming fluid, so everything is brown, dry and nothing bloody. If you think it might help you face your fear, you might want to consider it.
I have considered that this may be a manifestation of my fear of death as well. Yet, I am still not quite sure.
I know that everyone says this (and close to no one really means it), but the idea of death doesn't really scare me so much. I've never been one of those people who finds horror movies that frightening, for example, because all they ever are is dead body after dead body. I'm not really sure how else to explain this whole thing so well, though, so perhaps you really are onto something. In addition, though, hearts themselves don't really bother me. I've had to study them multiple times through school, and done things like dissecting animal hearts. Gotta say it's all pretty cool. They're super as long as they don't move!
Oddly enough, there is ONE heartbeat that doesn't do this to me, and which is going to sound cheesy and like I can't possibly mean the rest, haha. But oh, well; it's my boyfriend's. I can't get enough of it. It's like after all these years, it's so nice to finally be able to stand one that I could practically drink it.
And I don't know if that means I have the potential to get over my own heart or not, or whether it changes possible reasons for my aversion.
I don't even like feeling my kitten's heart when I hold him. It's pretty lame.
Wow... Well honestly how I got to ur story was because I was talking to my frnd and I found myself expressing my fears and feelings towards heart beats. I felt like a freak when I was telling him. He did some research and told me I wasn't the only one which was a huge relief... I read ur story and connected with it completly I cannot tolerate it whatsoever ... To the point where i cant stand the backround heart beat effect in movies either! Health class was a dread, we had to watch movies where we would listen to the bby in the mothers womb and u could hear its heart beat. I would freak out and pray it would be over soon... I guess I was scared that my heart would pick up the same pace as the heart beat and that my heart would go off beat and stop... It's getting worse and worse now I have the constant feeling my heart is going to stop beating... Do u have any advice?? I would really appreciate it
i dont like heart beats either altho my phobia isnt quite as strong as urs. i stopped getting high becuz whenever i did i could feel and hear my heart beating over everything else and it would make me panic so i thought i was gonna die cuz it was goin so fast. then my friends would check my heart rate and say its normal. i also would stop hearing my heart when the guy i ended up dating was near... so i understand what you mean and with ur kitten i hate heart beats in frail soft animals like my kittens till they grew up.
I despise my heartbeat, so I was curious...
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Wow. That is some story. I don't think it's abnormal, because it sounds like a phobia that manifests itself from a deep-rooted fear of dying, and lots of people have phobias that manifest from a deep-rooted fear of dying.
I'm going to apologize in advance if your phobia makes my response difficult for you to read.
Here goes:
For me, it's not quite the same, but it is disturbing enough.
When I was little, I couldn't go to sleep because my heart in my ears sounding like "potato chips crunching". It made me crazy. Now that I learn I have this congenital mitral valve prolapse, which has caused me to have blackouts, or what I consider to be tiny little deaths, the regurgitations in my heart sounds and feels repulsive to me - perhaps because it is an imperfection, because I know it is the reason why I have to take extra good care of myself all the time, or because it physically feels a little freaky.
Heartbeat sound effects in movies only sound cheesy to me - I can't recall one effective heartbeat sound effect in a movie or on tv. They just cheapen the story.
I had the opportunity to hold and explore two human hearts, and also I visited museums that had exhibits on hearts and surgery, and I think I've come to terms with the fact that we're a.) designed beautifully and intricately, and b.) all gonna die (which, and I'm certainly no doctor so I could be very, very wrong, but I think in its deepest level your fear/disgust might be stemming from fear of our mortality, that heartbeat sound being horrible evidence of the fragility of life).
Maybe if you could find a way to get into a room of cadavers for med students in a hospital and touch and feel a dead human heart, you might feel a little bit more at ease, I don't know. The cadavers are soaked in embalming fluid, so everything is brown, dry and nothing bloody. If you think it might help you face your fear, you might want to consider it.
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SeparateGravity
14 years ago
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Delyndra
13 years ago
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Thank you. :]
I have considered that this may be a manifestation of my fear of death as well. Yet, I am still not quite sure.
I know that everyone says this (and close to no one really means it), but the idea of death doesn't really scare me so much. I've never been one of those people who finds horror movies that frightening, for example, because all they ever are is dead body after dead body. I'm not really sure how else to explain this whole thing so well, though, so perhaps you really are onto something. In addition, though, hearts themselves don't really bother me. I've had to study them multiple times through school, and done things like dissecting animal hearts. Gotta say it's all pretty cool. They're super as long as they don't move!
Oddly enough, there is ONE heartbeat that doesn't do this to me, and which is going to sound cheesy and like I can't possibly mean the rest, haha. But oh, well; it's my boyfriend's. I can't get enough of it. It's like after all these years, it's so nice to finally be able to stand one that I could practically drink it.
And I don't know if that means I have the potential to get over my own heart or not, or whether it changes possible reasons for my aversion.
I don't even like feeling my kitten's heart when I hold him. It's pretty lame.
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Morena92
13 years ago
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Wow... Well honestly how I got to ur story was because I was talking to my frnd and I found myself expressing my fears and feelings towards heart beats. I felt like a freak when I was telling him. He did some research and told me I wasn't the only one which was a huge relief... I read ur story and connected with it completly I cannot tolerate it whatsoever ... To the point where i cant stand the backround heart beat effect in movies either! Health class was a dread, we had to watch movies where we would listen to the bby in the mothers womb and u could hear its heart beat. I would freak out and pray it would be over soon... I guess I was scared that my heart would pick up the same pace as the heart beat and that my heart would go off beat and stop... It's getting worse and worse now I have the constant feeling my heart is going to stop beating... Do u have any advice?? I would really appreciate it
i dont like heart beats either altho my phobia isnt quite as strong as urs. i stopped getting high becuz whenever i did i could feel and hear my heart beating over everything else and it would make me panic so i thought i was gonna die cuz it was goin so fast. then my friends would check my heart rate and say its normal. i also would stop hearing my heart when the guy i ended up dating was near... so i understand what you mean and with ur kitten i hate heart beats in frail soft animals like my kittens till they grew up.