I can understand this. I am scared for my own health because like you said it's an addiction.. On the outside I look perfectly normal, I have friends.. I go out and do fun things on the weekends I have no issues with my life or anything I would change.. But I have a secret addiction to bodily harm, I don't want to die.. I don't like seeing that much blood running out of my body but I crave something from it and when someone asks me how I got that scar on my hip or how I got that big scar on my leg I love it being a conversation starter and I will make it all up.. Am I a compulsive liar? I only ever lie about my scars and the deep secret that's behind them all.. But I don't think I want help.. I just don't want this addiction to take over my life and the ability to be able to live my life..
I stabbed myself in the leg with large yard trimming scissors when I was 17.. I just wanted to know what it felt like and I couldn't walk for 2 weeks.. But I loved it.. I loved knowing what it felt like.. I never felt/ feel pain from any of my wounds.. Is that normal.. Is it just adrenaline?
I am a fit, active, young girl in her 20's who rides dirt bikes and loves adrenaline.. But have I taken my love for adrenaline too far?..
I'm scared.. I just can't stop. I can barely admit it to myself that I do this to my body, I can't tell my boyfriend and I think i would be too scared to tell a professional because I don't want them to lock me away and I don't want to stop the high I get from self harm. Please no rude comments
I cut myself for no reason
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I can understand this. I am scared for my own health because like you said it's an addiction.. On the outside I look perfectly normal, I have friends.. I go out and do fun things on the weekends I have no issues with my life or anything I would change.. But I have a secret addiction to bodily harm, I don't want to die.. I don't like seeing that much blood running out of my body but I crave something from it and when someone asks me how I got that scar on my hip or how I got that big scar on my leg I love it being a conversation starter and I will make it all up.. Am I a compulsive liar? I only ever lie about my scars and the deep secret that's behind them all.. But I don't think I want help.. I just don't want this addiction to take over my life and the ability to be able to live my life..
I stabbed myself in the leg with large yard trimming scissors when I was 17.. I just wanted to know what it felt like and I couldn't walk for 2 weeks.. But I loved it.. I loved knowing what it felt like.. I never felt/ feel pain from any of my wounds.. Is that normal.. Is it just adrenaline?
I am a fit, active, young girl in her 20's who rides dirt bikes and loves adrenaline.. But have I taken my love for adrenaline too far?..
I'm scared.. I just can't stop. I can barely admit it to myself that I do this to my body, I can't tell my boyfriend and I think i would be too scared to tell a professional because I don't want them to lock me away and I don't want to stop the high I get from self harm. Please no rude comments