I cannot get over this romantic love story i had almost 5 yrs ago...

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Back in my university days a beautiful girl fell deeply in love with me… I also had feelings for her but kept them to myself… I was too afraid of commitment and chose to avoid it during my university years. Nonetheless, we became quite close and intimate to a light degree and it was beautiful. I had a few worthless flings that hurt her deeply (but we weren’t officially together, btw I know I was wrong no need to press on this point)… I took advantage of her love I guess in a way and kept my true feelings from her (I do not know why). After a while, she overnight decided to let me go and I was at the maximum of realizing how deeply in love I was with her… by then it was too late I guess and our romantic friendship ended awkwardly. She truly won my heart and I have never felt love like that before (nor after). “You do not realize the value of what you have until you have lost it.” That was about 4-5 yrs ago and ever since I could never pull myself into a real relationship or feel the same way about any other girl (and I had many opportunities and still do). But it’s her, she is my match, my true love and I lost her…. I want to get on and find someone else that understands me the way she did but it seems impossible… I feel like I have missed out on so much and that my life is missing a spice that can alter the flavor of my whole life! I’ve tried to reconnect with her but to no avail… Is this normal? What should I do?

Is It Normal?
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  • Alaskaraven
    13 years ago | pl

    You seriously love her? I'm a woman, & I'll tell you how to do it. Your homework:

    Watch a ton of romantic comedies, & you will notice one recurring thing- OVER THE TOP behavior wins them over. Embarrassing, romantic, sweet, bold acts of love. [Watch womens' reaction to those movies]. Why does this corny crap seem to work?

    BECAUSE WOMEN WANT ROMANCE!!! We LOVE love! In this cynical, dishonest world, there is no respect & so little sincere love... & we long for it.

    Literally, watch about a dozen of those kinds of movies- after you re-establish a friendship [so she knows you are not a stalker], show up when and where you know she'll be- with flowers, tickets to a movie, or have her arrive at work to find 50 balloons. Pay attention to little things she loves and send them to her [inexpensive chocolate is OK- we'd look forward to a candy bar a week!] Mail her cards, declare your love-- loud and often. Notes are good.

    This guy- who was SO not my type- showed up all over town w/ iced coffees for me, paid to get on a ferry to bring me fresh strawberries at work, bought me the newspaper every day because he knew my co- workers always took it. Climbed a HUGE hill to pick me a handful of berries because I'd noticed and mentioned them. Told me, "I want to be your partner in life", then another time, "I want to build a future with you." So much more. I fell in love w/ him... he flaked out- stress in his life from other things- I am finally over it.

    ~~sigh~~

    and when the time comes, don't stick a ring in anything. Risky and impractical. But DO get down on one knee... DON'T do it SO publicly [stadium screen] that you will be humiliated if she says no, she will hate you for making her look like a bitch in public. Very public is OK if you KNOW she'll accept.

    good luck- persistence wins over everything- how do you think those control freak abusers get ppl to marry them? They don't give up until they win.

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  • Gidget
    13 years ago | pl

    keep trying for her send flowers notes tell her what u just told us

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  • one_green
    13 years ago | pl

    When you say you have tried to reconnect with her, do you mean you know where she is and you have tried to call or talk to her or write to her and she doesn't respond? Or do you mean you just haven't been able to find her?

    Because....if you just haven't been able to FIND her, my answer would be different to you than if you HAVE FOUND her and she just doesn't want to talk to you or take up where the two of you left off. Please clarify.

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    • Scooby
      13 years ago | pl

      ya i know where she is and i have called her and spoken to her on her b-day and sms'd her a couple of times... i mean she replied and thanked me but thats all.... and i didnt bring up any of the above...

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      • secrettellings
        13 years ago | pl

        aww, thats so sweet. I think you should go out and win her back! Fight for her because you love her tell her this story and she'll fall for you too

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