I can't shower anymore!!

I went shopping to a well known super market the other day, I brought a lovely pack of monkey nuts which usually I would savour with delight, with dribbling anticipation I opened the pack to be confronted with all I can describe as a bag moldy shelled cold bollocks!!
I'm not blessed with the biggest of balls and what with the spruce of hair on them,(moldy looking) I can't bring myself to wash the poor little fellas due to the flash backs!!