Hey, after reading some of the other comments I feel inclined to state what I think.
1st of all I think we all have some sort of -emotional- tolerance which affects things like how we are affected by direct and indirect death, direct and indirect cruelty (an example would be if you are a vegetarian as although the immortality (if that's even a word) isn't in your face you know its still there).
Having that at an extreme is your case. It sounds like I'm saying it isn't normal but I think it still lies in the boundary of normality as sadness is simply a Human emotion however way it is expressed.
A reason for people numbing up could be the thought of "its truly horrific but expressing my emotions of sadness doesn't change the outcome even though it is intrinsically sad"
As well, you can have something I call logical emotions, something which may or may not affect you directly but it is intrinsically sad/happy. an example would be what psychopaths experience . Or also a normal person can experience emotions from logical emotions but doesn't have to. Eg you're birthday= you should be happy, a death=you should be sad etc etc.
Death is the worst fear out there, and most fears are probably derived from it tbh. The general advice given to someone grieving is grieve however much you need and in whatever way you need as everyone is different. I think that should be applied to your situation even though say someone dies in a film, people should still respect and acknowledge everyone is allowed to deal with it differently.
I don't agree death is a natural part of life at all, infact, I bet people said the exact same thing about slavery until it was abolished. I think we only say that as there is no alternative and we seem to be programmed to think that as a reason for it when I doubt there is any reason at all.
Death isnt like sleeping because lets say I telll my child it is, then they will assosiate sleeping (which in a way is a recovering process as well as many things) with death and will be affraid to go to sleep.
Conclusion:even young children can see there is a differrence
Dont pretend they are in a better place if you don't believe it yourself, as although you may think it will make you happy I guarenty, over the long term you'll be more sad that you have to lie to yourself just to fulfil your own short term need of trying not to be sad.
I used to wake up at one point and start shaking from fear and sadness (not that I ever admitted that to anyone) but then I numbed myself up as people don't class it as normal and it didn't help my situation at all.
So, if you've decided to waste an hour reading my post then my final advice would be that sadness can be expressed however you like but for your own sake and even appearance towards others, and mainly for the fictional characters part , try and manage your emotions and think is it actually sad? Yea the fictional characters meant something to you then and there but it isn't actually real where as the pain around you is.
We have enough things to cry about in life as it is without adding on any more unnecessary grief :P
I can't handle death at all - please help?
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Hey, after reading some of the other comments I feel inclined to state what I think.
1st of all I think we all have some sort of -emotional- tolerance which affects things like how we are affected by direct and indirect death, direct and indirect cruelty (an example would be if you are a vegetarian as although the immortality (if that's even a word) isn't in your face you know its still there).
Having that at an extreme is your case. It sounds like I'm saying it isn't normal but I think it still lies in the boundary of normality as sadness is simply a Human emotion however way it is expressed.
A reason for people numbing up could be the thought of "its truly horrific but expressing my emotions of sadness doesn't change the outcome even though it is intrinsically sad"
As well, you can have something I call logical emotions, something which may or may not affect you directly but it is intrinsically sad/happy. an example would be what psychopaths experience . Or also a normal person can experience emotions from logical emotions but doesn't have to. Eg you're birthday= you should be happy, a death=you should be sad etc etc.
Death is the worst fear out there, and most fears are probably derived from it tbh. The general advice given to someone grieving is grieve however much you need and in whatever way you need as everyone is different. I think that should be applied to your situation even though say someone dies in a film, people should still respect and acknowledge everyone is allowed to deal with it differently.
I don't agree death is a natural part of life at all, infact, I bet people said the exact same thing about slavery until it was abolished. I think we only say that as there is no alternative and we seem to be programmed to think that as a reason for it when I doubt there is any reason at all.
Death isnt like sleeping because lets say I telll my child it is, then they will assosiate sleeping (which in a way is a recovering process as well as many things) with death and will be affraid to go to sleep.
Conclusion:even young children can see there is a differrence
Dont pretend they are in a better place if you don't believe it yourself, as although you may think it will make you happy I guarenty, over the long term you'll be more sad that you have to lie to yourself just to fulfil your own short term need of trying not to be sad.
I used to wake up at one point and start shaking from fear and sadness (not that I ever admitted that to anyone) but then I numbed myself up as people don't class it as normal and it didn't help my situation at all.
So, if you've decided to waste an hour reading my post then my final advice would be that sadness can be expressed however you like but for your own sake and even appearance towards others, and mainly for the fictional characters part , try and manage your emotions and think is it actually sad? Yea the fictional characters meant something to you then and there but it isn't actually real where as the pain around you is.
We have enough things to cry about in life as it is without adding on any more unnecessary grief :P