I think you might need professional help it's not always so easy to forget about things that make you cry every night of course. If maybe you go get therapy things will be alot easier, seeing that you already made it this far without much help I think all this will be just a distant memory in no time. Meanwhile, it will be nice to keep yourself occupied. Maybe a walk or just watch something nice and funny, reassure your fiance that everything will be fine and always put a smile on your face (even though inside you might be falling apart) this will make him feel good (if he loves you).
i can't get over my past
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I think you might need professional help it's not always so easy to forget about things that make you cry every night of course. If maybe you go get therapy things will be alot easier, seeing that you already made it this far without much help I think all this will be just a distant memory in no time. Meanwhile, it will be nice to keep yourself occupied. Maybe a walk or just watch something nice and funny, reassure your fiance that everything will be fine and always put a smile on your face (even though inside you might be falling apart) this will make him feel good (if he loves you).