Maybe you really should stop talking to him because he isn't going to change his mind about you, he's made that glaringly obvious, yet you are still struggling to move on. It might be what is best for you.
Another thing worth noting; you keep tossing around the word love and, while you may feel like it is, it actually sounds a lot more like infatuation. If you had been in a romantic relationship where he reciprocated your "love", then I would say--yes--you are truly in love with him in a way which is difficult to get past. But, it's almost as if by using the word love instead of infatuation, you're giving yourself an excuse to continue on with this charade. There is a *world* of difference between one-way love (infatuation) and true Love (which is, or has been, reciprocated). It's important for you to understand the distinction so you can move on.
No, you are not a horrible person at all. You do sound a little obsessed though, which is not healthy. That's why I agree with your suggestion to stop talking to him, at least for a few months until you get your priorities straight.
You are always so wise. You answered one of my other stories a while back and you always know exactly what to say and make me feel better.
I wanna stop talking to him for a little to get my thoughts and feelings in check but I dont know if id be able to. He sits right behind me in class and I cant help but talk to him. Ill try though if you think thatll help me.
But I feel awful cause I rather see and talk to him than my super sweet and loving boyfriend.
Thanks for the compliment.
I'm just older and have a little more life experience, that's all. I think if I were compared to someone my own age or older, I wouldn't seem very wise at all.
Your situation is difficult, but just give it your best try (ignoring him). Maybe you could also try to focus on his shortcomings; everyone has them but, when we like someone, we dismiss those idiosyncrasies as irrelevant. If he were your enemy, those flaws would be all that you noticed about him. So, the more you notice those flaws, the less you will want to be with him.
Don't allow yourself to compare him to your current boyfriend and see if it helps improve your relationship. If not, it would be kind to cut your boyfriend loose until you're feeling more into it.
Ill try my hardest to ignore. May be difficult cause im paired with him in a project but ill try to keep it strictly school related topics and no joking around like we usually do.
And not comparing them is difficult too. I feel bad but I sometimes wish my boyfriend was more like the other guy in certain aspects. But I wont try to compare them anymore. Hopefully itll help the relationship.
I also feel bad cause ive been sorta ignoring my boyfriend while I try to work out all my feelings and thoughts.
That's true, but a lot of that is because they're working with only some parts of the puzzle. Love is probably such a complex concept and we go through different stages/experiences with it for the rest of our lives.
For example, I know what it is like to be in a loving relationship and the difference having my love reciprocated makes. And I know about the love people share while being legally blinded by marriage. But, I don't know what it is like to love a child created by my own body. Or what it's like to love the same person all the way into old age.
I CAN'T GET OVER HIM... IIN?
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Maybe you really should stop talking to him because he isn't going to change his mind about you, he's made that glaringly obvious, yet you are still struggling to move on. It might be what is best for you.
Another thing worth noting; you keep tossing around the word love and, while you may feel like it is, it actually sounds a lot more like infatuation. If you had been in a romantic relationship where he reciprocated your "love", then I would say--yes--you are truly in love with him in a way which is difficult to get past. But, it's almost as if by using the word love instead of infatuation, you're giving yourself an excuse to continue on with this charade. There is a *world* of difference between one-way love (infatuation) and true Love (which is, or has been, reciprocated). It's important for you to understand the distinction so you can move on.
No, you are not a horrible person at all. You do sound a little obsessed though, which is not healthy. That's why I agree with your suggestion to stop talking to him, at least for a few months until you get your priorities straight.
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shuggy-chan
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You are always so wise. You answered one of my other stories a while back and you always know exactly what to say and make me feel better.
I wanna stop talking to him for a little to get my thoughts and feelings in check but I dont know if id be able to. He sits right behind me in class and I cant help but talk to him. Ill try though if you think thatll help me.
But I feel awful cause I rather see and talk to him than my super sweet and loving boyfriend.
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[Old Memory]
10 years ago
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Thanks for the compliment.
I'm just older and have a little more life experience, that's all. I think if I were compared to someone my own age or older, I wouldn't seem very wise at all.
Your situation is difficult, but just give it your best try (ignoring him). Maybe you could also try to focus on his shortcomings; everyone has them but, when we like someone, we dismiss those idiosyncrasies as irrelevant. If he were your enemy, those flaws would be all that you noticed about him. So, the more you notice those flaws, the less you will want to be with him.
Don't allow yourself to compare him to your current boyfriend and see if it helps improve your relationship. If not, it would be kind to cut your boyfriend loose until you're feeling more into it.
--
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10 years ago
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Ill try my hardest to ignore. May be difficult cause im paired with him in a project but ill try to keep it strictly school related topics and no joking around like we usually do.
And not comparing them is difficult too. I feel bad but I sometimes wish my boyfriend was more like the other guy in certain aspects. But I wont try to compare them anymore. Hopefully itll help the relationship.
I also feel bad cause ive been sorta ignoring my boyfriend while I try to work out all my feelings and thoughts.
Yeah, "love" isn't the word I'd use, I don't think most people really understand love in their early 20's let alone in their teens years
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[Old Memory]
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That's true, but a lot of that is because they're working with only some parts of the puzzle. Love is probably such a complex concept and we go through different stages/experiences with it for the rest of our lives.
For example, I know what it is like to be in a loving relationship and the difference having my love reciprocated makes. And I know about the love people share while being legally blinded by marriage. But, I don't know what it is like to love a child created by my own body. Or what it's like to love the same person all the way into old age.