Yes it is normal to feel this way after loosing a loved one. I think that you should find a grief and loss counselor or therapist. You may be suffering from depression, which is also not abnormal in such circumstances. Dying is not the answer to your problems, your feelings for her were and still are very deep. That deep love has now been combined with a deep longing and sadness. Such strong feelings take TIME to fade and heal. And they WILL heal, most people are stronger than they give themselves credit for.
I can't find a reason to live
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Yes it is normal to feel this way after loosing a loved one. I think that you should find a grief and loss counselor or therapist. You may be suffering from depression, which is also not abnormal in such circumstances. Dying is not the answer to your problems, your feelings for her were and still are very deep. That deep love has now been combined with a deep longing and sadness. Such strong feelings take TIME to fade and heal. And they WILL heal, most people are stronger than they give themselves credit for.