I feel like this, too, and I think I may have figured out why.
It's a defense mechanism. You are burying your feelings because they're overwhelming. I'm the kind of person who will start crying out of nowhere over things like how the human brain developed the capacity for written language. That kind of stuff just fills me with incredible awe.
But, as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. The downside to being able to feel that kind of abstraction with that much gravity is that things like guilt and love, the immediate, impactful emotions, are just too much and we tend to repress them rather than try to process them. I would cease to exist if the man I love left me, but there are times when I can't even bring myself to tell him I love him back, and I've said it to him first maybe once in all the time we've been together.
My dad was the same way, and I don't know if that makes it nature or nurture, but whatever it is, I've gotten used to it. I know what I'm like and I'm able to explain myself to the people around me. Some people can't accept it, but most can.
But yeah, I know how you feel about saying thank you or sorry. It's not that I don't feel the feeling accompanying the words. It's that I feel like the person I'm saying them to is going to think I'm being fake because I'm uncomfortable trying to express it.
But if it's important, I'll usually lead into it by saying I'm bad at saying things like that and I'm probably not going to do it right. I find that the person I'm speaking to tends to fill in the social content that I'm unable to provide.
My mom says it might be Asberger's Syndrome (which is a mild form of autism). I've asked psychologists and stuff about that, and I haven't gotten a real firm answer from any of them. No harm in doing the research, and you may find out something about yourself that makes everything clear.
That you're like this is, in my opinion, normal enough. The part that worries me is that you're upset by it. That's never good. You deserve to feel good about yourself.
I am not genuine. I can't empathize, apologize, or sympathize.
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I feel like this, too, and I think I may have figured out why.
It's a defense mechanism. You are burying your feelings because they're overwhelming. I'm the kind of person who will start crying out of nowhere over things like how the human brain developed the capacity for written language. That kind of stuff just fills me with incredible awe.
But, as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. The downside to being able to feel that kind of abstraction with that much gravity is that things like guilt and love, the immediate, impactful emotions, are just too much and we tend to repress them rather than try to process them. I would cease to exist if the man I love left me, but there are times when I can't even bring myself to tell him I love him back, and I've said it to him first maybe once in all the time we've been together.
My dad was the same way, and I don't know if that makes it nature or nurture, but whatever it is, I've gotten used to it. I know what I'm like and I'm able to explain myself to the people around me. Some people can't accept it, but most can.
But yeah, I know how you feel about saying thank you or sorry. It's not that I don't feel the feeling accompanying the words. It's that I feel like the person I'm saying them to is going to think I'm being fake because I'm uncomfortable trying to express it.
But if it's important, I'll usually lead into it by saying I'm bad at saying things like that and I'm probably not going to do it right. I find that the person I'm speaking to tends to fill in the social content that I'm unable to provide.
My mom says it might be Asberger's Syndrome (which is a mild form of autism). I've asked psychologists and stuff about that, and I haven't gotten a real firm answer from any of them. No harm in doing the research, and you may find out something about yourself that makes everything clear.
That you're like this is, in my opinion, normal enough. The part that worries me is that you're upset by it. That's never good. You deserve to feel good about yourself.