I am in a difficult situation.
I am 22/23 year-old girl from the Middle-East. I was born to a Muslim family but I left Islam when I was 17. I didn't tell anyone until recently I told my siblings and few other family members. They were shocked and told me things to convince me with islam and made me sit with a man of religion. U got actually affected and after I was like "islam can't be from God" I became like "I don't know if islam is from god" but after time like weeks of thinking, I came to the conclusion that no islam is not from god and if I still have doubt that it might be from god, it must be a very little doubt.
Anyway, I no longer think freely enough because I am afraid of the social consequences of my belief. I regret telling them. They judge me and sometimes I just want peace. I am afraid I will get older and stay without marriage because I can't marry a Muslim guy. Please give me an advice. I know you don't understand the complication of my society but just now that things here are different. And know that leaving the country is not easy
Also I've failed in work and studying stuff so I am pretty lost right now :(((.