It's amazing that you could stand to have any relationship at all with her and it is little wonder it is so upsetting. You don't owe her the time of day IMO.
Anyway, how can you better look after you? Obviously as a survivor you've done pretty well, with a happy marriage. Can you get more help to put the betrayal and abuse further behind? Do you need to limit or even end the contact with that selfish woman for your own peace of mind. Can you change your thinking that - despite her being the abuser - you have to be the one to get along with her?
i am angry with my mother from last 30 years
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It's amazing that you could stand to have any relationship at all with her and it is little wonder it is so upsetting. You don't owe her the time of day IMO.
Anyway, how can you better look after you? Obviously as a survivor you've done pretty well, with a happy marriage. Can you get more help to put the betrayal and abuse further behind? Do you need to limit or even end the contact with that selfish woman for your own peace of mind. Can you change your thinking that - despite her being the abuser - you have to be the one to get along with her?