I am angry with my mother from last 30 years

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14 Comments

hi ...am 40 years of age...i am a sister of 3 brothers....when we were young (i was around 13 years) our mother used to go out with her brothers and sisters,leaving us with our father for days....now.... the father..the bastard used to molest me all the time,i used to hate it.. he was an alchoholic and used to start drinking from the morning only..when i couldnt take it i complained to my mother...and i cant remember my mother taking any stand with the father.but she fought with him and after that he stopped.but my mother continued with her busy schedule.then we grew up and i got married.
now 30 years have passed.i am happily married bur I DONT GET ALONG WITH MY OWN MOTHER... i cant forgive her because in my eyes she left me in his custody and she is responsible.i see girls with their caring mother...i am so deeply hurt,i hate myself and i hate her.i misbehave with her,dont talk to her for days,she has grown old...and needs caring...my father and 2 brothers are dead..i also blame my brothers' death on her in my heart...i want peace of mind...

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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Mando
    11 years ago | pl

    It's amazing that you could stand to have any relationship at all with her and it is little wonder it is so upsetting. You don't owe her the time of day IMO.

    Anyway, how can you better look after you? Obviously as a survivor you've done pretty well, with a happy marriage. Can you get more help to put the betrayal and abuse further behind? Do you need to limit or even end the contact with that selfish woman for your own peace of mind. Can you change your thinking that - despite her being the abuser - you have to be the one to get along with her?

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  • o_0
    11 years ago | pl

    kind of speechless but want to say something to you...
    start again -forget as much as you can- go along with her- spend time with her - take care of her....
    may be she loved you but didnt know how to be responsible dont forget she let you in this world such a great gift for you .... so forget what she did to you ... now its your turn you cant be as others are,, you have to show how you are .. how much humanity exists in you ..so take care of her and she if knows that she didnt take much notice on you then se will for sure feel guilty one day>!!! :)

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  • jermath35
    11 years ago | pl

    Typical broken American home like mine...don't put ur faith in family they will always let u down..

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  • littlemsEMOtional
    12 years ago | pl

    I voted no and meant to click yes...sorry.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    This isn't something that you can just "get over". This is something that you need to confront your mother with. Even if you are still mad at her afterwards, your mind won't let this go until you get closure.

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  • lama54
    13 years ago | pl

    That would be hard to get over ! I am 55 and although I never went through that , my mother was very abusive both physically and mentally ! There was 9 of us lids and I was nxt to youngest ! I look back and realize I , myself hold nothing whatsoever against my mother ! Times were different and people take Prozac like it's candy now days when in fact if they had it back then myother needed it , just didn't know it ! I wish she was alive now I would do so much to make her life better than what she had when raising us

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    • indianfem
      13 years ago | pl

      i think if u are abused in childhood..the scars remains till u are alive...one can never forget and forgive..

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    • indianfem
      13 years ago | pl

      the other day someone asked me it i ever got a beating when i was a child.... i started crying and told them that i was beaten with a stick, with a piece of pipe,a shoe....she was like a hitler or a kind with 4 children...now i am empty from inside for her..
      though i love my children to death..they are my life, they also love me very much..but i am scared to touch them for long,i am so scared from inside that i will get these dirty feelings for them...because i am their daughter it may be in my blood

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  • sgbslp
    13 years ago | pl

    My mother was terribly neglectful and very jealous of me. I took her in when she became sick

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    • indianfem
      13 years ago | pl

      thats really nice of u...i provide her with anything she needs ,materialistic vise.money,or whatever else she asks for...but i dont feel connected to her, at all. and this thing disturb me ....

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  • carmelle716
    13 years ago | pl

    I think it Is normal to have these feelings. It seems u were mentally and physically abused As a child. Have u told your mother recently how u really feel?

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    • indianfem
      13 years ago | pl

      we cant talk for half an hour without a fight or creating a scene.....

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Get over it. Its been thirty years fir godsake

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  • chlooo
    13 years ago | pl

    You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel it will give you a better grip on it. You can't keep your anger bottled up... Check this out -philipians 4:6

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