I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to answer you. There is a part of me that is angry, that you don't see the self destructive path you are on. There is a part of me that has some sympathy, or at least understands what started you on this "downward spiral." I'm not sure my normally tactless and usually mean response would work in your case.
It seems that you are trying to find a deeper meaning in sex, than what you are...able...to feel... right now. In place of drugs, or eating, you are using sex as a means to fill a hole in your heart, and you just aren't able to get the proper satisfaction you need from it.
" If I stop will I no longer be a slut?" uhm...isn't this one obvious? Yes, if you slow yourself down, take some time to recover mentally/emotionally/physically, and find out what it is you really need to start to feel happy again (sex isn't it, and usually is never it) the rough waters you are experiencing will begin to smooth out.
Sex is never the answer for "so I didn't have to be sad about that guy raping me." Having a long term relationship that slowly leads to sex, where is is a mutual thing, and much more emotional will help. Once you meet a guy, give it at least 6 months before letting him even come close to your crotch. Remember, any good male, will also know that good things are worth waiting for.
No means no. No means no at 5, it means no at 10, it means no at 30. Anyone who doesn't respect that much, should go to rehabilitation. I hope you have bought yourself a nice taser to keep with you to help prevent that from happening again.
I would suggest however, that you try to find someone more professional to talk to. I'm not sure a school counselor will be able to help much, but it is at least a start. There are also therapists that would be suited to your needs. I'm not saying you need medication, or you are crazy, or anything even remotely like that. What I am saying however, especially with your past issues, is that someone with a degree in psychology will be able to help you much more than a website. Plus, between you and me, talking to someone face to face about this would help also.
That was the best answer I've gotten. And I do see that this path is destructive and that it's unhealthy. That's why I want to stop. I just asked the "if I stop will I not be a slut anymore?" Because one time I tried to stop but this girl who meant the world to me thinks I am and she told me I'm worthless and will tell that same thing to anyone who brings me up to her.
I talked to my school counsler today and she helped alot. She knows me well and knows I'm not a bad person. That I care about people's feelings and that I love life and want to be happy and to share the love so to speak. It's just that part of me feels suffocated because others convince others and even myself that I am the biggest whore at the school and I'm disgusting. Again thank you for your input.
I don't think being good or bad as a person has anything to do with it. I think there are circumstances that left you...for lack of a better way to put it, empty. The sex was just an attempt at trying to feel something. There is a separation, at least for me, between the person in general, and the person in the bedroom. In 14 years of knowing about sex, I've had 3 bjs, 2 hj, anal with a guy once, anal with a girl once, and one regular vaginal (and honestly none were anything to brag about). So I don't take sex with people very lightly. Usually for me, once I get comfy with someone to do it, it is already to late and they are talking to some other guy. You are the opposite of that. But that doesn't detract from you as an actual person.
I mean, you came here looking for someone to talk to, and that is the first step in a potentially long journey. I'm truly sorry for what happened. I'm glad that you can talk about it. It was indeed horrible what happened to you, and I'm happy that you are wanting to start to change. You really haven't done anything that wrong. I have two female friends, one is at 70 men, and the other lost count over 110. You aren't nearly to those numbers.
just don't listen tot he negativity. You've had enough negative stuff happen in your life. Besides, you seem pretty cool to me. At least thats the feeling i get. I think its because you want to change.
I am a senior and I've had sex with 7 people...
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I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to answer you. There is a part of me that is angry, that you don't see the self destructive path you are on. There is a part of me that has some sympathy, or at least understands what started you on this "downward spiral." I'm not sure my normally tactless and usually mean response would work in your case.
It seems that you are trying to find a deeper meaning in sex, than what you are...able...to feel... right now. In place of drugs, or eating, you are using sex as a means to fill a hole in your heart, and you just aren't able to get the proper satisfaction you need from it.
" If I stop will I no longer be a slut?" uhm...isn't this one obvious? Yes, if you slow yourself down, take some time to recover mentally/emotionally/physically, and find out what it is you really need to start to feel happy again (sex isn't it, and usually is never it) the rough waters you are experiencing will begin to smooth out.
Sex is never the answer for "so I didn't have to be sad about that guy raping me." Having a long term relationship that slowly leads to sex, where is is a mutual thing, and much more emotional will help. Once you meet a guy, give it at least 6 months before letting him even come close to your crotch. Remember, any good male, will also know that good things are worth waiting for.
No means no. No means no at 5, it means no at 10, it means no at 30. Anyone who doesn't respect that much, should go to rehabilitation. I hope you have bought yourself a nice taser to keep with you to help prevent that from happening again.
I would suggest however, that you try to find someone more professional to talk to. I'm not sure a school counselor will be able to help much, but it is at least a start. There are also therapists that would be suited to your needs. I'm not saying you need medication, or you are crazy, or anything even remotely like that. What I am saying however, especially with your past issues, is that someone with a degree in psychology will be able to help you much more than a website. Plus, between you and me, talking to someone face to face about this would help also.
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Littledreamer
10 years ago
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That was the best answer I've gotten. And I do see that this path is destructive and that it's unhealthy. That's why I want to stop. I just asked the "if I stop will I not be a slut anymore?" Because one time I tried to stop but this girl who meant the world to me thinks I am and she told me I'm worthless and will tell that same thing to anyone who brings me up to her.
I talked to my school counsler today and she helped alot. She knows me well and knows I'm not a bad person. That I care about people's feelings and that I love life and want to be happy and to share the love so to speak. It's just that part of me feels suffocated because others convince others and even myself that I am the biggest whore at the school and I'm disgusting. Again thank you for your input.
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Gelmurag
10 years ago
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I don't think being good or bad as a person has anything to do with it. I think there are circumstances that left you...for lack of a better way to put it, empty. The sex was just an attempt at trying to feel something. There is a separation, at least for me, between the person in general, and the person in the bedroom. In 14 years of knowing about sex, I've had 3 bjs, 2 hj, anal with a guy once, anal with a girl once, and one regular vaginal (and honestly none were anything to brag about). So I don't take sex with people very lightly. Usually for me, once I get comfy with someone to do it, it is already to late and they are talking to some other guy. You are the opposite of that. But that doesn't detract from you as an actual person.
I mean, you came here looking for someone to talk to, and that is the first step in a potentially long journey. I'm truly sorry for what happened. I'm glad that you can talk about it. It was indeed horrible what happened to you, and I'm happy that you are wanting to start to change. You really haven't done anything that wrong. I have two female friends, one is at 70 men, and the other lost count over 110. You aren't nearly to those numbers.
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Littledreamer
10 years ago
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Wow... That's alot of guys... And I know what you mean. As soon as I get comfortable with a person and trust them they split an talk to another girl.
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Gelmurag
10 years ago
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just don't listen tot he negativity. You've had enough negative stuff happen in your life. Besides, you seem pretty cool to me. At least thats the feeling i get. I think its because you want to change.
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Littledreamer
10 years ago
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Yeah I really need to shut out all negative word because that makes it worse for me. And thank you :)