sounds like you're trying to use sex for the wrong reasons.
instead of using it for romance, it sounds like you're using it for control, revenge, etc.
Yes, you can change - if you want.
And now for some very hard things to face: you have to take responsibility for the loss of your virginity as well. I know you "told him no" but... what was he doing there to begin with?
Yes, I believe both men and women HAVE to stop when the partner says "no!" BUT part of growing up and being responsible is not putting yourself in that position to begin with.
If you don't want to fuck someone, don't get in bed with him, don't get naked.
It's a lesson many girls hate having to face. On one hand there's the attitude of "well he should just stop!" and yes he should. But on the other hand, you can stop it from getting that far too.
Take responsibility for your body. Cos many of the situations you faced in high school will still be there - and you'll likely face MORE of it, especially when you add alcohol to the mix.
So, take what you've gone through now... and use it as your "shield" so to speak. You already know you disliked how you ended up feeling, so you know what lies ahead if you don't change into the person you want to be.
Let your experience change you for the better instead of letting it hold you down.
Okay thanks for the input. And that guy I said no to I didn't offer, I didn't ask, I didn't willingly do anything. He straight up raped me so that's not my fault. I said no as he was doing it. I yelled at him but he wouldn't stop until I hit him really hard in the face. So I did do what I should have in that situation. It didn't last long cause my struggling but his penis went in. So I lost my virginity to some guy in less than a minute.
well then, now you have some ideas on how to move on.
he controlled your body for a short period of time.
it's time to stop letting him continue to control it. take the bull by the horns and take control of your own body and life.
let your actions be ones you actually want. give yourself permission to be the person you want to be.
and that doesn't mean "no sex" really. you can be sexually active - but let it be because it's something you actually want with your entire heart, mind, and body.
I was unsure if using this site would be beneficial but your opinion and view on my situation has helped. Thank you for everything you've pointed out and said.
I am a senior and I've had sex with 7 people...
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sounds like you're trying to use sex for the wrong reasons.
instead of using it for romance, it sounds like you're using it for control, revenge, etc.
Yes, you can change - if you want.
And now for some very hard things to face: you have to take responsibility for the loss of your virginity as well. I know you "told him no" but... what was he doing there to begin with?
Yes, I believe both men and women HAVE to stop when the partner says "no!" BUT part of growing up and being responsible is not putting yourself in that position to begin with.
If you don't want to fuck someone, don't get in bed with him, don't get naked.
It's a lesson many girls hate having to face. On one hand there's the attitude of "well he should just stop!" and yes he should. But on the other hand, you can stop it from getting that far too.
Take responsibility for your body. Cos many of the situations you faced in high school will still be there - and you'll likely face MORE of it, especially when you add alcohol to the mix.
So, take what you've gone through now... and use it as your "shield" so to speak. You already know you disliked how you ended up feeling, so you know what lies ahead if you don't change into the person you want to be.
Let your experience change you for the better instead of letting it hold you down.
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Littledreamer
10 years ago
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Okay thanks for the input. And that guy I said no to I didn't offer, I didn't ask, I didn't willingly do anything. He straight up raped me so that's not my fault. I said no as he was doing it. I yelled at him but he wouldn't stop until I hit him really hard in the face. So I did do what I should have in that situation. It didn't last long cause my struggling but his penis went in. So I lost my virginity to some guy in less than a minute.
--
Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
10 years ago
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ok that's a bit different then. (notably without details one cannot tell if it was date rape or attack rape)
and, interestingly, i have heard of people seeking more sex after rape. including meaningless sex
cos ... if sex becomes meaningless it means he didn't take much from you right?
the problem of course is that it ends up doing more harm than good.
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Littledreamer
10 years ago
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Yes that totally makes sense. It was attact. I don't drink or smoke or party or do drugs. I'm your adventage "good kid" beside all the sex...
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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
10 years ago
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well then, now you have some ideas on how to move on.
he controlled your body for a short period of time.
it's time to stop letting him continue to control it. take the bull by the horns and take control of your own body and life.
let your actions be ones you actually want. give yourself permission to be the person you want to be.
and that doesn't mean "no sex" really. you can be sexually active - but let it be because it's something you actually want with your entire heart, mind, and body.
--
Littledreamer
10 years ago
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pl
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I was unsure if using this site would be beneficial but your opinion and view on my situation has helped. Thank you for everything you've pointed out and said.