I am a pedophile. do you hate me?

49 Comments

I am a law abiding citizen. I vote. I work. I donate to charities. I feel that children are our future. They are the most precious gift of our society. We should nurture and care for them before anything else. I would never purposely harm a child, and if I accidentally harmed a child I would be beside myself with grief. If it came to a choice between my life and a child's I would give my life freely with no hesitation. No, I cannot donate various blood and tissues due to a medical condition, but I would if I could. I have cared for many children of all ages and have never done anything inappropriate. I have NEVER touched a child inappropriately, and if I knew someone who did I would ostracize that person. I would tell every parent I knew who that person was and what they did.

But I also am, unfortunately, sexually attracted to young girls. I find them beautiful beyond words. I would never act on these impulses, but they are there. I can't seem to do anything about it. I have done a lot of research and there are treatments that are used. But these treatments are either chemical neutering (which is not necessary as I will never act on my impulses) or are psychosexually traumatizing. In fact their are experts that admit there is no actual treatment for this condition.

My question is this: Do you hate me still? Even if I am innocent of any crime.

Yes	13
No	76
Maybe	5

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Comments ( 49 )

[Old Memory]

9 years ago | pl

There is a difference between pedophilia and a child molester, although they often are seen together. Pedophilia is a mental illness. Child molesters act on it. People do not choose what they are attracted to, but they choose how they act. Thoughts do not make people bad, but actions do.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you for stating this. I know the difference between the too.and I hope all who read this realize the difference as well.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I do not hate you.
    In fact, i have a lot of respect for you as long as you do not act on your urges.
    I hate people who hurt children more than anyone, because they are our future.
    But i know we do not get to choose our thoughts.
    It will take great strenght for you to withhold your thoughts and find acceptance.
    As long as you have self control, I will respect you.
    
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    - Pseodonihm
      
      9 years ago
      
      Thank you.
      
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ArmusWasTheFirstTroll

9 years ago | pl

Absolutely not. I believe it is tragically unfortunate that people are born afflictions that will never be accepted by society. It's not your fault you are that way, so, no, I don't hate you.

It is the actions one chooses in the face of adversity that constitute the measure of man (I chose man instead of something gender neutral because it sounds better). For the sake of what is right and the well being of all, please don't act on your impulses.

I feel sorry for you. You can never allow yourself to know what love feels like. That's fucking heartbreaking.

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- ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
  
  9 years ago
  
  With afflictions*
  
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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you. I assure you, I will never act upon those impulses. An I have known love, tho very brief. When I was very young. And I thank you for your empathy.
  
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ScooterNyne

9 years ago | pl

This is probably the only IIN post that has provoked tears from me. I know you probably dont want people to look down at you like someone who needs or deserves peoples pity and sympathy. But I too have a sexual condition that is untreatable and I hate myself for it. Mine is a little more acceptable in the eyes of society but still dreadful in its own way. I cant feel what you are feeling but I can at the very least try to relate. I think that people don't understand people like you and me. They tend to think that just because you are a male with an abnormal attraction that you are bound to hurt someone one day. I for one believe in you. And I don't think any harm or hate should come to you as long as you don't act on those impulses. I think there is great comfort in keeping the attractions you have in fantasy. And as long as they stay there everything will be okay man. Stay strong. Everyone is capable of great things. you are no exception

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- anti-hero
  
  9 years ago
  
  Well tell us your sexual condition then.
  
  Necrophilia?
  
  Beastiality?
  
  Incest?
  
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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you. But do not hate yourself. Simply except what you are. Then strive to be better.
  
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  - interger
    
    7 years ago
    
    Thank you for posting this, i have the same condition and i have never been able to talk to anyone about it ever, i am too afraid that once someone finds out they will hate me for the rest of my life and it will get out and my family will disown me. Thank you 400 times over!
    
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Holzman_67

9 years ago

I don't hate you but it does raise concern and alarm in me.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  I am sorry to have you uncomfortable. But thank you.
  
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disthing

9 years ago

I don't hate you.

You have a mental illness, probably untreatable. It's an illness only in so much as it deviates from what is socially acceptable in modern Western society, and is biologically counter-intuitive.

You haven't harmed anyone as a result of it, and you may never harm anyone.

You could draw parallels with other paraphilias, or fixed conditions such as psychopathy, homosexuality or autism spectrum disorders. All of these are things you don't choose, and can't 'cure'.

Remember, there are men and women around the world struggling with the same feelings as you. Probably many more than are behind bars for acting on those feelings.

So I wish you the best of luck in dealing with a condition that is so taboo in Western society, people are unwilling to discuss it rationally. If you ever find yourself tempted by an opportunity, be brave enough to seek the support of a qualified professional, in confidentiality; they may not be able to offer anything aside from an ear to listen, but I think talking through the challenges you face can be cathartic.

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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  And the more in-depth piece really worth reading:
  https://medium.com/matter/youre-16-youre-a-pedophile-you-dont-want-to-hurt-anyone-what-do-you-do-now-e11ce4b88bdb?%3Fc=upworthy
  
  I think it's a tragedy that our collective unwillingness to address paedophilia in a meaningful way probably results in more children being abused.
  
  Drug addicts aren't helped by being turned away or incarcerated, they're helped by a strong support network that empowers them to overcome their addiction. Similarly, paedophiles aren't helped by being turned away or incarcerated - they need a strong support network that empowers them to control their urges before they abuse a child.
  
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  - Pseodonihm
    
    9 years ago
    
    Thank you for your thoughts and the links. I have not seen these before. It is encouraging to know some are open minded enough to address this issue in a logical and progressive way.
    
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- Murun
  
  6 years ago
  
  Why's it biologically counter-intuitive? Girls become women.
  
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- disthing
  
  9 years ago
  
  Here's a good link you (and anyone else) might find interesting:
  
  Interview with 19 year old paedophile (who hasn't ever abused a child) - https://soundcloud.com/this-american-life/522-tarred-and-feathered-act-two-help-wanted
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

I don't hate you, but I certainly don't love you either.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  At least you are honest. Thank you for understanding.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    9 years ago
    
    You're very welcome.
    
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

From what I've gleaned on the subject, if it was made official policy to kill people like you, we'd thus have to annihilate a disturbingly significant proportion of the general adult population.

Regardless, I don't hate you any more than I hate the typical human being.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Like I said in response to anti-hero. At least you are honest. I to, find most of the people in my culture reprehensible.
  
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orinoco

9 years ago

Are you sure you would never act on these impulses?
No, I do not hate you. But do not underestimate the extent of self-control you will need in your life. The first error would be to be completely convinced of your ability to keep yourself under control.

Furthermore,

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- orinoco
  
  9 years ago
  
  Furthermore (I wanted to add ...suddenly sent off...), be careful to acknowledge persons as "experts" who support a scientific thesis which confirms that nothing can be done about it. Such a position is "tragically comfortable" for you, which is suspicious.
  
  Many people (me included) have a trait which they wish they hadn't - need not be yours. Then there is always this doubt as to whether it is something which simply must be accepted as inborn and unchangeable, or a challenge for oneself to overcome your assumed limits. The easier answer is the first for sure. But in a sense it means to resign. On the other hand it cannot be excluded that the easier answer is just true. I only say it is not easy at all. It is easy, however, to find "scientific experts" for a certain position. This is not an area like mathematics...
  
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  - Pseodonihm
    
    9 years ago
    
    I am not saying that I have a genetic predisposition to find young children sexually attractive. I simply state that the medical and scientific community at its current understanding of this condition have reached a concision. There is no treatment or cure.
    
    And yes, I am sure I will never act on these impulses. I would kill myself, before that occurred.
    
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Pseodonihm

9 years ago

By the way, if there are any out there who are like me. Any who would like to have some place to talk to others like themselves. I have found this web site called "Virtuous Pedophiles". Here is the address.

http://www.virped.org/

This is not a child porn site. It is a support group for those pedophiles who do not want to harm children. So please, no haters. You do have to go thru a short process. But they do not want any personal information. So there is some safety.

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GaryGibson

9 years ago

I don't hate you, I admire you for dealing responsibly with a challenging attraction that you did not choose and cannot change. I have a website at iLoveChildren net and have recently started small groups to help people with pedophilia. I hope you can join us ASAP.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you. I will certainly check it out.
  
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chuy

5 years ago

Don't hate you or love you either, Who am I to judge? THE ALL MIGHTY is the only one that can judge you.

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Pseodonihm

6 years ago

It's heart warming to know that the original intent of the site has been overridden by the patronizing to the trolls. If I where to try to post this question again it would be removed. But hey as long as someone can post poop comes out dick over and over again that's ok.

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Pseodonihm

6 years ago

Just to let everyone know. I come back to this post every now and again. It helps to know there are some reasonable people out there who wouldn't kill me on sight. I have stayed true to my promise to never harm a child, and I will continue to do so. Again to those who offered their support, thank you.

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Atussa

8 years ago

As long as you don't act on these thoughts, you're not a bad person. For your own sake and for the sake of innocent children whose bodies no one as the right to use for their own pleasure, it would be best to talk to someone professional so you can get to the root of why you feel this and you can move on with your life and be happy.

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Roadrunner30

9 years ago

I don't hate you. In fact I respect you for being wiling to admit to this. And trying to seek help even though there may be none available. I pray you are able to maintain the self control you have. Some of the hateful comments you've received make me sick to my stomach. No one deserves that. The fact that you publicly admit the problem you have, and on a daily basis fight to refrain from it, makes me respect you. I pray one day they can find a treatment that can help you. Stay strong.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you.
  
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purpletrain

9 years ago

I don't hate you at all. I think you're being incredibly honest, and there are likely many more people in a similar situation who aren't quite as honest with themselves. As I understand it, paedophilia is a mental disorder, in which case you can't help this attraction you have. It's worrying that psychiatry seems to be fascinated with the inner workings of paedophiles that molest children but doesn't seem to provide adequate support for those trying to overcome the attraction. You didn't choose to be this way so I can't fault you for it. If you had harmed a child, that would be another story altogether because child molestation is a choice (a disgusting, selfish one) that people make but since you haven't, you have done nothing to warrant genuine hate. You clearly already know this but don't ever act on your feelings. Find other things/hobbies independent of young girls to detract from your attraction. Keep yourself busy. It must be really tough to not be able to experience love in the way that most people will but this is what you have to do to keep the children around you safe.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you for your understanding. I wish everyone had that paradigm.
  
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charcoalwish

9 years ago

I can only speak for myself., but at the age of 13 I was exposing myself to older men (I'm a girl). There is something in human nature which is biologically within us.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  You were exploring and expressing your sexuality. And that is fine. But it is dangerous at the same time.
  
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  - charcoalwish
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yeh I understand this.. it lead to me being addicted to masturbation from a young ages, and having such extreme bedroom fetishes..
    
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daydreamer394

9 years ago

Psychiatry

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  Tried it. I am in a rural area. I have to travel far to get any kind of therapy. I confessed my desires to a therapist. She had me see a psychiatrist within her group. He gave me a test to see if I would harm anyone. Then handed me back to my therapist. Our sessions basically came down to the following. "Have you touched a child?" "No?" I replied. "Have you had any thoughts about touching any children, because if you do I have to report that." "No." I replied (A lie). At that point it became obvious that this subject agitated her, and she wished I would go away. But she was forced to deal with me as part of her job. She was not a trained professional. She was a social worker who attended a few therapy classes. The psychiatrist who I should have been dealing with didn't want anything to do with me. Instead he continued to refer me back to the therapist.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    "Have you had any thoughts about touching any children, because if you do I have to report that."
    
    That pretty much says it. Therapists and law-enforcement officials are not your friends. You made a mistake the day you chose to "get help."
    
    What country are you from?
    
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    - Pseodonihm
      
      9 years ago
      
      America
      
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anti-hero

9 years ago

Yes, but to be fair I hate most people.

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- Pseodonihm
  
  9 years ago
  
  At least you are honest. I to, find most of the people in my culture reprehensible.
  
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Personally, I think physical castration is the only right and proper method of dealing with your kind. Taking pills or getting injections can stop, but you ain't gonna grow a new set of balls, are you?

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- handsignals
  
  9 years ago
  
  Should probably cut off his hands to so he cant grab at them.
  
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  - Pseodonihm
    
    9 years ago
    
    And then be a burden on society.
    
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Are You Normal?

I am a pedophile. do you hate me?