Didn't expect that much feedback. You're absolutely right the issue does effect other variables such as friends, and family. Is hard to mantain relationships when people perceive you as an uncaring person. But I am that way because how I grew up. However to let go of my composure, this level of control would be the death of me. I couldn't do it, I'd feel like I lost my intellect. I believe it'd give way to the intrusive thought patterns in my head, regenerate the anger I once had.
For me to lose this composure means to lose my humanity (others see this as me being a monster). Perhaps I once was, maybe that is what I am scared of regressing to by letting go. However I've learnt to be content this way.
To summarise how I see things is that love is a façade, born of sin (greed) it is the purest form of manipulation. The truest form of flattery is understanding. If you understand something you can start to deconstruct it and build something new from the ashes. Their rubble is not something to be dwelled upon. Rather used to construct a bridge to tomorrow. For me every day, every second is the last second I'll ever have. What you would call death I live every second, though I all so experience every other possibility. Every moment is infinite, and with this I could never die with regret. Without regret even being in a state pain I foresee no need of worry because the next moment are where my dreams survived, where my pain subsides, and my true love resides.
Not everyone will understand this, but I do hope one day someone will. Because life is a roller coaster, but you don't have to go through the motions so long as you have a good foundation. Others may not, while others may be able to empathise enough to understand my beliefs and that will be enough. Because as long as they're there with me, I will be strong enough to support them as they go through the motions.
As of this moment though all I want is everything in place as does any one else, however it all becomes scattered too quickly for my joy to be realised. I trust too much in people, so I am usually their step to a better tomorrow as I fall back into yesterday. I am just waiting for the day where I meet that someone where we can be mutual stepping stones. (similar to leap frogs)
I am a man, and I hate sex.
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Didn't expect that much feedback. You're absolutely right the issue does effect other variables such as friends, and family. Is hard to mantain relationships when people perceive you as an uncaring person. But I am that way because how I grew up. However to let go of my composure, this level of control would be the death of me. I couldn't do it, I'd feel like I lost my intellect. I believe it'd give way to the intrusive thought patterns in my head, regenerate the anger I once had.
For me to lose this composure means to lose my humanity (others see this as me being a monster). Perhaps I once was, maybe that is what I am scared of regressing to by letting go. However I've learnt to be content this way.
To summarise how I see things is that love is a façade, born of sin (greed) it is the purest form of manipulation. The truest form of flattery is understanding. If you understand something you can start to deconstruct it and build something new from the ashes. Their rubble is not something to be dwelled upon. Rather used to construct a bridge to tomorrow. For me every day, every second is the last second I'll ever have. What you would call death I live every second, though I all so experience every other possibility. Every moment is infinite, and with this I could never die with regret. Without regret even being in a state pain I foresee no need of worry because the next moment are where my dreams survived, where my pain subsides, and my true love resides.
Not everyone will understand this, but I do hope one day someone will. Because life is a roller coaster, but you don't have to go through the motions so long as you have a good foundation. Others may not, while others may be able to empathise enough to understand my beliefs and that will be enough. Because as long as they're there with me, I will be strong enough to support them as they go through the motions.
As of this moment though all I want is everything in place as does any one else, however it all becomes scattered too quickly for my joy to be realised. I trust too much in people, so I am usually their step to a better tomorrow as I fall back into yesterday. I am just waiting for the day where I meet that someone where we can be mutual stepping stones. (similar to leap frogs)