I am a man, and i hate sex.

55% Normal
28 Comments

Growing up, I was taught that women are wonderful. They are a pure representation of beauty and gracefulness, peace, and innocence. Where men are the "push" in society, women are the "pull". Where men are the " hard", women would be the "soft". In my mind, that made women a very powerful creature indeed. A creature of love. And love always wins.
When I got made chase of who is now my wife (11 years now) I started to feel strange about the relationship between men and women. And once we got married, I really started getting frustrated. I started hating sex with an unquenchable passion, the likes of which the flames of hell itself can not extinguish.

All my life I was told that sex was the greatest thing two people could experience. And when I first had sex with my wife, I worked her over for 2 solid hours, and I got nothing. No amazing feelings from the depths of my being. No bells or alarms. Just a slimy nether regions. And an extremely happy wife.

And worse, the view I had been raised with of women was bullshit of the purest form. I realized that they are not the Queens of romance I was told. They are just as messed up as I am. I feel like I was lied to. And I told the people in my life that very thing.

I have no desire to ever cheat on my wife, good god why would I? I get approached by women all the time, and all I can feel is disgust. At least I can come home to the security of a loving family. The sad part is that every 3months or so I have to put on a 3 hour " one night only" block buster performance, to keep my wife happy. I hate that she brags about our sexcapades to her friends and family. That's really gross. I do have to say! I will never stop thanking my wife for our son. Holy crap, being a dad is awesome. She made me get her preggers again, and now I have a daughter on the way. Can't wait to snuggle that little bundle. I am a big baby with kids. In my mind, kids are the best part of sex. I just don't like being looked at like a stripper. I would rather just keep doing my work outs, working and paying the bills. That's real life, and I love it. Society tells me that I am supposed to be a sex hungry "Manimal". Society can suck it. Are there any other dudes that are like this? Or am I on my own here on stage?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 49 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago | pl

    The language you use indicates you've gone from putting women on a pedestal to an equally warped view: for example, "worked her over", "put the moves on her".

    You seem to be somewhat aware of this intellectually, but you're still viewing sex as performance rather than an act of love. If you want to change this entrenched pattern you need to find a good therapist

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    • CoffeeKev
      8 years ago

      You could be right. I have no context for love without performance. In my mind, there is no such thing as a soul mate, just beautiful people. To me the act is peripeteia.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        I don't understand your use of this term, as it has something to do with a sudden change in narrative in literature

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      • Shackleford96
        8 years ago

        Wrong word?

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    "an extremely happy wife" is the most important thing you could have anyway.

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  • NeofelisNebulosa
    8 years ago

    You were given a flawed vision of women. I suppose it gave you unrealistic expectations. But as for your sexual problems, that sounds like a psychological issue. Not experiencing any sexual pleasure is abnormal.

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    • despuit
      8 years ago

      I don't feel any pleasure, just pain. I have mass amounts of hatred towards climaxing and it just ruins my day. If my partner enjoys climaxing then I will enjoy that, I live for the other to make sure their happy. My happiness doesn't matter, the only problem is finding someone to make happy.

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      • RoyRogers
        8 years ago

        Some people dont like sex. I do believe it has more to do with psychology than it does with anything else in most cases. Why are you feeling pain?

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        • despuit
          8 years ago

          Most things are psychological xD. Pain because I've learnt to all ways be on edge in life, I can never relax and to give into it would mean defeat. My childhood was psychological warfare, if you didn't stay present it'd bite you in the ass. Is unhealthy but I am greatful of it, it taught me to be who I am today. And either way I'd rather give then to receive, and if I'm with someone I hope they respect that. My ex all ways tried making me happy, such a pointless endeavour I'd say to her. Is why it didn't work, because it made me so angry because she worried so much about me. Had she just been happy did her own thing it would have been fine, my happiness doesn't matter. I don't care how wrong it may be to say that, but I wasn't loved growing up and I don't want to be loved that way as I die. Like I said as long as we have respect and they're happy then I will be perfectly content with my life.

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          • RoyRogers
            8 years ago

            Well it simply sounds like you are too uptight for sex. Maybe try talking to a sex therapist? No, not everyone needs to have sex but you seem to have mental issues which are preventing you from being with your partner.

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            • despuit
              8 years ago

              Out of the hundreds of people who told me to go see a therapist your claim is the most justified of all. I'll input an excuse as we does here:

              For me though I just see it as they're not the right partner for me. I'll find someone some day who worries less. I'm sure there are a lot of conceded females out there, or ice queens. Empathy isn't my friend.

              Thanks for comment :)

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  • CoffeeKev
    8 years ago

    Ya... Yeah I have been coming to that conclusion. My perceptions about sexuality are not my wife's fault for sure, good grief she is an awesome lady. I do know that I have to work something out, because this is on me, not her.

    I made a mistake, I thought women deserved to be better than men, but we're the same. I guess there is a part of me that still thinks the great lady standing proud and gracefulness, on the pedestal I put her on, is a more romantic thing. Someone worth dying for... I was wrong, and I am sorry for that, women don't need that pressure, they're just "One of the guys now" and I need to just get use to it.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Once every three months! My folks are in their mid-late 70's, and my mom says they still go at it a couple of times a week.

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  • januarycurse
    8 years ago

    you have a flawed perception of reality. girls and women are sexy and that's why men want to spend time with them and have sex with them. it's not about putting on a show. it's about realizing your feelings and getting in touch with your emotions. don't over think it. sounds like you don't love your wife anymore.

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    • CoffeeKev
      8 years ago

      I can see what you're saying, and it makes sense. But I do genuinely love her, and I tell her daily, and do all the chores and bills, as kind of a "love language" I guess? She's worth it to me.

      There's just this really strange part of me that feels really great knowing, that for ME, I don't have to have sex in order to feel like a REAL man ya know? Obviously if I am honest with myself, I do feel "something" having sex, I mean... I have kids. But its more like a cookie, or a great big hug to me, than an "OMG I NEED THIS DAILY" king of thing.

      I dunno. I give her a massage every day, maybe I will just make myself swan dive into the whole "romance" thing tonight, and try to put the moves on her. Maybe if I just make myself get into it more often, it will change my brain up a bit. Maybe she will like a "massage with a happy ending" ya?

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      • theseeker
        8 years ago

        I think I kind of relate. Everybody seems to be obsessed with sex. A lot of guys are thinking about getting laid 24/7 and at times would go to extreme measures to impress a girl with those intentions. As a guy, I also don't view it as something I NEED, but at the same time it's definitely not something I hate or would wanna turn down. For this reason, I'm not bent on going outta my way to impress women. The reward doesn't seem worth the stress that would be involved for me, maybe because I'm more of an introvert.

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    You may be a homosexual.

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    • CoffeeKev
      8 years ago

      Negative.

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  • NegativeGamer444
    8 years ago

    let me explain the way relationships work: person A attracted to soulmate/dream spouse/destined prince charming. person A settles for first in line and is miserable for life and complains about it here.

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    • Jill123
      8 years ago

      Oh yeah, you really are ignorant. It's a dead give away.

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    • CoffeeKev
      8 years ago

      No that's not how it works.

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  • durpy.50
    8 years ago

    true sex is horrible

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago

    This sounds like a post by an asexual female that changed the gender roles in her story as a social experiment to assess gender biases.

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  • Wild_Child
    8 years ago

    I think you still WANT to think that women are the embodiment of heavenly perfection. To me, this perfection is an image that needs to be broken. I want to make her feel deliciously dirty, carnal, filthy, and have the catharsis of nasty wetness squirted into her by my cock. In this way we can feel like two hot animals that helped relieve each other of our sexual tensions.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Maybe asexual?

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  • Gspyder
    8 years ago

    This shit again?

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