Depression is funny like that. It's in your brain and not something that is affected by outside factors like how good your life is, unfortunately. I strongly suggest you to seek professional help and to focus as much as possible on the positives. Write a list of things you're greatful for everyday, spend time in nature even if it's just short walks to begin with and try to avoid things in your diet which will slow you down and make you feel worse. If nothing helps at all medication is always an option. You should definietely talk about your friends suicide in therapy if you haven't already, that is something very traumatizing that needs to be processed properly. And as for the difficult feelings at night those tend to show because you're without distractions at night. Meditation can be good for that as you're literally practicing your mind to be quiet. Meditating when going to bed is a good idea because you'll be falling asleep with a quiet mind. Use guided meditations in the beginning.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I got extensive psych counselling after my friends suicide, I practise meditation and light candies at night and always make time to wind down. Sarah Blondin is one of my favourites.
You’re right too, about depression. People always talk about exercise being pivotal in battling it, but I remember back in 2013 going on a cycle trip in europe where I cycled down Germany into the Czech Republic, 1600km. I returned from that trip the most depressed I’ve ever been. That’s just the thing, I’ve known depression in my life before but this is a different beast, I almost want to die because I’ve been broken and I’ve been fixed, I’ve had incredible happiness and incredible sadness; I’ve been to rock bottom and I’ve realised my dream. It’s this beautiful fucked up mosaic and it just feels time in my mind to let it go, I don’t want it anymore, the good and the bad. It’s just a bittersweet thing, life, and I feel like I’ve lived an eternity already and I’m tired, happy, grateful and ready.
I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life but I’m having thoughts of suicide
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Depression is funny like that. It's in your brain and not something that is affected by outside factors like how good your life is, unfortunately. I strongly suggest you to seek professional help and to focus as much as possible on the positives. Write a list of things you're greatful for everyday, spend time in nature even if it's just short walks to begin with and try to avoid things in your diet which will slow you down and make you feel worse. If nothing helps at all medication is always an option. You should definietely talk about your friends suicide in therapy if you haven't already, that is something very traumatizing that needs to be processed properly. And as for the difficult feelings at night those tend to show because you're without distractions at night. Meditation can be good for that as you're literally practicing your mind to be quiet. Meditating when going to bed is a good idea because you'll be falling asleep with a quiet mind. Use guided meditations in the beginning.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment. I got extensive psych counselling after my friends suicide, I practise meditation and light candies at night and always make time to wind down. Sarah Blondin is one of my favourites.
You’re right too, about depression. People always talk about exercise being pivotal in battling it, but I remember back in 2013 going on a cycle trip in europe where I cycled down Germany into the Czech Republic, 1600km. I returned from that trip the most depressed I’ve ever been. That’s just the thing, I’ve known depression in my life before but this is a different beast, I almost want to die because I’ve been broken and I’ve been fixed, I’ve had incredible happiness and incredible sadness; I’ve been to rock bottom and I’ve realised my dream. It’s this beautiful fucked up mosaic and it just feels time in my mind to let it go, I don’t want it anymore, the good and the bad. It’s just a bittersweet thing, life, and I feel like I’ve lived an eternity already and I’m tired, happy, grateful and ready.