I’m an aspiring writing but i’m not fluent in english

Hi. I’ve been living here in the US for 6 years now and yet I’m still not fluent in english. I can’t hold a conversation with someone in english without stuttering once or twice, not being able to find the word I’m looking for, and not understanding unfamiliar idioms or words and sometimes they talk too fast for me, which actually makes me nervous to engage to a conversation which prevents me from practing and improving my english skills. There’s also a fear of using words that arent used in everyday conversation or unfamiliar/advance words that are no longer used or not often used by native speakers.

To make this shorter, lets just say that I express myself better in writing than speaking. I recently fell in love with reading books and realized that I love writing stories. I secretly wanted to be a writer but I’m afraid of pursuing it because of the lack of fluency. If I find the courage to pursue this career, I know that I’m going to need to increase my english skills but the fear of making mistakes and embarassing myself is getting in the way. If you have the same problem, Id appreciate it if you share your story and I might learn something from your experience. Or if you just want to comment or to share your opinion, feel free to do so. Thank you:)