How would you rather be executed?

For some reason, you find yourself facing the death penalty, and you have 5 choices to pick from. Which one will you choose?

Electric chair 5
Guillotine 23
Firing squad 24
Hanging 4
Lethal injection 30
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Comments ( 73 )
  • shuggy-chan

    Suffocation by puppies

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    ridin a nuclear bomb to the ground like slim pickens

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    • LloydAsher

      CATCH A RIDE!

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      • Ho0ligan

        instantly thought of borderlands 😂

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        • asdfgh0987

          Now with 47% more than 26% deaths annually!! That is down from last year, hold your applause...!

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        • LloydAsher

          I mean I get the slim pickens reference but I like to use the latest references.

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          • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

            i dont git the latest ones

            fill me in

            in the least weird and sexually disgustin ways that one can on this website

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            • LloydAsher

              Quirky charicter dies the same way in a video game. That was both his catchphrase and his last words upon dying in the same fashion riding a rocket until death (of explosion)

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  • LloydAsher

    Best death is the one you never see coming and you are dead before you realized it.

    So pretty much a sniper blowing my brains out.

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    • BURN!

      Or heroin overdose

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      • LloydAsher

        Is that what happens during a heroin OD?

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        • BURN!

          Well you never really see it coming, I think most heroin ODs are accidental. But yeah overdoses are painless, basically you get so high that you fall asleep and forget how to breathe.

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          • LloydAsher

            Still rather just for it to happen out of nowhere. Eat at a Starbucks BOOM dead.

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            • BURN!

              Lol yeah for sure

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  • Anonnet

    Probably guillotine. It looks like it has the lowest chance of errors, but I would definitely combine it with a few other things. First, an injection to make me unconscious. Then, immediately after the blade cuts my head off, have a team of crack shots riddle my head with bullets. If they do it right, I'll be 100% verified dead in less than a second or two.

    If they want to be lazy about it, I guess I'd go with just the firing squad. Worst case scenario, I feel like sort of a badass for a fleeting moment.

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  • leggs91200

    Firing squad.

    I think lethal injection would suck the worst. Read a bit about Clayton Lockett. It took 43 minutes for him to die that way, a botched execution.

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    • CozmoWank

      Yikes. I don't think lethal injections are painless like some people think. It's just that you're not able to react because you've been chemically immobilized. That's scary to think about.

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      • NoLifer

        Ironically the most humane murder method was in fact the guillotine. However I think went to a less humane option becuase it appears more civilized. As in the courts care about the well being of death row inmates. If you are on death row the world has already given up on you and deemed you unsavable. Goverments all about looks.

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        • CozmoWank

          I'd be afraid that after my head was cut off I might still have a second or so of consciousness and my last memory would be looking up at the sky from the bottom of a basket with my own blood dripping into my eye from my severed neck.

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      • leggs91200

        Yeah cause all of us have had shots in our lives. It hurts maybe for a second then it is over, except maybe feeling like you got punched in the area but not bad.

        So, what might sound like the least painful method is probably the most painful, at least out of those options.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

          the most painless execution is nitrous oxide asphyxiation

          nobodyd consider it causea the euphoria

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  • bigbudchonga

    I had a hard time deciding between guillotine and firing squad

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  • TerriAngel

    2 points.
    guillotine, because its a sure thing, quick ( no pain ) and re- usable.
    bullets cost money, hanging hurts.
    You either are hung straight and basically choke to death.
    Or, if done well the knot is placed on the side and snaps your neck.
    Its quick, but why risk it.
    A well oiled Guillotine is a sure thing.
    2 Death should be controlled and the parts harvested.
    All your blood, your heart, lungs, bone marrow, etc.
    This gos for everyone one death row, and anyone feeling like ending it.
    Id make it legal, safe, and benefitial. ( spell check that B. )

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    • chuy

      My point exactly....that's why I asked for a "all of the above" option. All at once lol.

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  • Doesnormalmatter

    Over exertion in the gym

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  • raisinbran

    Guillotine sounds fun.

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  • megadriver

    Crash into a wall/ divider at 300+kmh without a seatbelt, airbags disconnected and Ozzy Osbourne's "Momma I'm coming home" blaring.

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  • Nikclaire

    Firing squad nude. I wanna go out like I came in.

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    • McBean

      Yanno girl, you got class.

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      • Nikclaire

        Right, I have so much grace I can barely stand lol. Don't think that's the case.

        I want to look the people in the eye as they take me out, because, well, God has grace and I will be with him soon if I'm being executed.

        The naked thing, well nude shit is always more fun lol.

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        • McBean

          I agree.

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    • GaelicPotato

      O

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  • curious-bunny

    If I had to choose firing squad. See if I canf get one last laugh in before I die

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  • Pyroha24

    Okay but lethal injection is actually a lot more painful than people think it is. Wont go in depth but John Oliver made an episode about it on Last Week Tonight if you want to hear about it

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  • leggs91200

    If I could die on my OWN terms, I would want to go peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather did. Not screaming bloody murder in fear, like the passengers in his car.

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  • Grunewald

    Flogging or crucifixion, anyone?
    Or flogging followed by crucifixion?

    Still happens today...

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    • McBean

      Did you know that devotional self-crucifixition is still practiced on Good Friday?

      In the Philippines, some Catholics are voluntarily, non-lethally crucified for a limited time on Good Friday to imitate the sufferings of Christ. Pre-sterilised nails are driven through the palm of the hand between the bones, while there is a footrest to which the feet are nailed.

      Wow, pretty sick. It's no secret that many devoutly religious followers suffer from depression.

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      • Grunewald

        I know about that.
        I wouldn't do it myself, but I understand why they want to do it, and I respect them.

        I have depression too. Where does that come into it?

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        • McBean

          Yanno, I'm glad that I don't understand them. I'm glad that I have never been depressed, and I'm glad that I neither believe nor disbelieve in God. I am thankful I'm alive. I'm thankful for scientific thinking, and for the impersonal randomness of the universe. Nihilists cannot deny that life will eventually fill all voids.

          I just wish I could get laid. Girls are the most intractable of all puzzles.

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          • Grunewald

            What good is scientific thinking if it doesn't help us understand people?

            The first mathematicians came out of the Islamic world. The medievals started science as we know it.

            The opposition of science and faith is a comforting narrative for atheists, but that's what it is - a narrative. Popularised in the anglo-saxon world in the 19th century.

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            • McBean

              I do not idealize science. Actually, I don't idealize anything. Happy talk narrative is inane. Devotional crucifixions are good material for Monty Python. You did express interest in CBT a while ago. I think that's a good way for smart people to help others most of the time.

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  • NoLifer

    Being the morbid soul I am understand how ineffective most of these methods are. Guillotine I'd be worried if blade was sharpened. Electric chair is simply excruciating and is basically going to fry the victem. Hanging is meant to break the neck but there is documented cases of it failing and the victem slowly straggles to death. Lethal injection is how they kill animals and is still debatable how Humane that is. I think the most effective way to kill anything would be to knock them out than swiftly remove the head. If the squads any good they'll be able down a person with one clean shot.

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  • Retsama

    Guillotine doesn't make suffer !

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  • chuy

    Where's the "all of the above" option?.

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  • McBean

    I would choose a slow overdose of pentobarbital like pets get when they are put down. I do not think criminals deserve this courtesy. Lethal injection should stop their heart immediately with no sedation.

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    • NoLifer

      You know humans are given one extra drug when being put down. We exclude this drug when putting down pets or animals.

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      • McBean

        That depends. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lethal_injection#Conventional_lethal_injection_protocol

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        • NoLifer

          Depends on what?

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          • McBean

            Depends on the protocol. The Wikipedia link will tell you more.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    I'll take the beheading. Hopefully they don't botch that shit.

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    • Holzman_67

      Oh shit we had him the wrong way round
      That’s the 5th set of feet we’ve cut off this week

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  • GaelicPotato

    Cryogenic freeze.

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  • brutus

    Guillotine, bullet to the head, or heroin overdose.

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  • bullet to da dome

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  • Lethal injection. Funny thing is, I actually consider euthanasia an option for if I'm tired of life, and they use similar methods, I believe.

    They put you to sleep first, which is the main reason I prefer lethal injection to the other methods. I want to die in my sleep.

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  • TheBlindInquisitor

    Guillotine

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  • I love the oceans. Just tie a heavy weight on my feet and throw my body in the Mariana’s Trench.

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    • LloydAsher

      Hmm you might actually be crushed to death before you drown depending on how cruel the executioner is. Attaching a scuba tank to you and incasing you in irons. You dont die of suffocation you die of being crushed by thousands of atmospheric pressure.

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      • Doesnormalmatter

        Hmmm not that bad.

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      • I agree. But if I’m being executed as the question implies, I deserve a painful death. So I’m ok with being crushed by oceanic pressure.

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        • CozmoWank

          How about having a fat bitch who smells of fish sit on you?

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          • Doesnormalmatter

            Already happened hahaha!

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          • I’d prefer drowning and being crushed by pressure instead of that.

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    • curious-bunny

      Pretty much.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    That's a good question. I feel like the brave option would be firing squad or hanging, it feels like you're deliberately facing your death straight on. But when the time comes I feel like I'd chicken out and pick the lethal injection, that certainly sounds like the more desirable way to go.

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    • JellyBeanBandit

      Actually I've just thought of something. A firing squad wouldn't be my first choice for one main reason. After clinical death, but while your brain is still technically alive, your brain is supposed to release a flood of DMT and it's meant to give you cool hallucinations and feel really good. But if you're shot in the head, then that could completely kill your brain before you get the chance to feel that euphoric sensation. So I think I'd go for the lethal injection after all.

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    • RoseIsabella

      That's funny, I chose hanging. Of course these days I hate all the times people make grammatical errors related to that word.

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      • Grunewald

        As in 'he hung' as opposed to 'he hanged'?

        If I were to go for hanging, it'd be because I imagine it being public, and outdoors. I'd want to invite people to come. And more people would hear my last words that way.

        Why would you prefer to be hanged?

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        • RoseIsabella

          I would prefer to be hanged for very much the same reasons you have mentioned. I rather like the idea of the spectacle of it all.

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      • Doesnormalmatter

        Why on earth would you chose hanging? Its slowly getting choked hanging by your neck verses firing squad or guillotine when its just over before you know it. Are you sure you would actually go with that?

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    • Primus

      I heard it's actually very painful. At least a bullet to the brain stem ends most your suffering instantly.

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