How to drop a proper deuce

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  • When I was about 9 years old I came up with a novel solution to this modern problem.

    I would reel off a length of toilet paper (about 24" long) and suspend it in a 'U' shape just above the level of the water.

    Then I would put an end of it under each of my legs. Thus forming a kind of suspended trampoline arrangement to catch the poop before it hit the water (sort of like when firemen catch someone when they jump out of a burning building so they don't hit the ground with a splat).

    No embarrassing splashing sounds and no water splash on your cute ass. When you're done you just let the poo trampoline drop into the toilet.

    Problem solved.

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