How serious for you to stash something in your ass

How serious would a situation have to be for you to stash/hide something in your ass?
Large enough to be very uncomfortable but not physically damaging

Edit - If you don’t comment after telling me my rankings are trash I’m legally allowed to decide what goes up your ass and I’m choosing a Lego Pirates of the Caribbean set

1 - Don’t mind at all 5
2 - 0
3 - To avoid annoyances 1
4 - 0
5 - To avoid a fine 5
6 - 4
7 - To avoid jail time 6
8 - 1
9 - To save my life 3
10 - Never 6
These rankings are stupid 11
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Comments ( 29 )
  • CozmoWank

    Stolen jewels, okay. Stolen car, fuck no.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Even with lube?

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  • Holzman_67

    I’ve been hiding my ego up there for years

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  • raisinbran

    I'll put a large cucumber up my ass (with lube) to avoid a $500 dollar fine.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    Honestly, never. It would be more trouble than it's worth.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Even if a small butt plug was evidence that you had to hide to save yourself from the death penalty?

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      • Cuntsiclestick

        I got the impression that OP was talking about things that dont normally go there like money or drugs. Unlike those things, a buttplug is flared at the base and can go in or out comfortably, so I doubt a situation involving life or death would be involved with a plug. XD

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        • Mammal-lover

          Dude hes clearly the op.. hes confused about his sexuality I think

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          • Nah I’m op, I work in border security so I have to deal with a lot of stuffed butts lmao
            Sometimes it’s stuff that can’t get you in any trouble what so ever so that’s why I was curious

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            • d0esnormalmatter

              No I am OP! You heard the man! I'm the OP of every butt stuff related post because I put a screwdriver up there once as a kid.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Idk just basing that off his replies to me which you can see elsewhere. The post is pretty confusing but also funny.

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  • d0esnormalmatter

    Loooool what a funny question but props to you I guess. It depends what the object is though you need to be more specific because I would most likely actually enjoy stuffing something in there depending on what it was and the situation.

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    • The object being stashed goes up in seriousness based on what “punishment” comes along with it.

      For example, to avoid a fine you’re probably stashing weed or something, to avoid jail time maybe a murder weapon, etc.

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      • d0esnormalmatter

        Well okay but idk what kinda murder weapon would fit up there. I would do weed or something no prob though as long as I had a way of making sure it didn't get stuck up there.

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        • blinkeredharlot

          Screwdriver.

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          • d0esnormalmatter

            Yep haha would definently do that to avoid a fine. If the head was shaped properly.

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            • blinkeredharlot

              You know the head is the sharp bit right? If the head of that is shaped properly youre back in the hospital with another anal fissure. How did you explain that to your family btw?

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        • Pocket knife, switchblade, butterfly knife, poison. Lots of closing knives

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          • d0esnormalmatter

            Oh idk that's pretty risky. Hypothetically you said no harm so then I would do it in your hypothetical. But irl I might just take the fine to spare my anus because that could get pretty bad.

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