Oh dear, that means I'm still being ambiguous. I appreciate you asking because there could be others who are just as confused by my meanings. I'll better try to explain what I meant, although, I still might not do a good job of it.
By 'ideal' I meant that it would be more of a personal preference, something that is realistically hoped for. This is what I am aiming for in this poll.
By 'correct' I meant that it would be what you think everyone else is doing; more like a schema or norm than a preference.
For example, I think that most couples in these types of relationships probably only have sex 1-2 times a week on average, but what I think is ideal would be closer to 3-5 times a week, or, more specifically, 1-2 during the week and 2-3 times on the weekend.
The reason I wanted to make the distinction was because I can look up the statistics for this stuff but that doesn't tell me what people hope for, only what is actually going on.
When another member commented on it and said, "It's different for different people so there's no answer..." I became concerned that the purpose of my poll was going to be lost on the voters due to the way I worded it, but my poll only sat in moderation for less than an hour so I didn't have a chance to adjust it.
hm. I understand, but then, your wording is off for the answers.
You say yourself, 1-2 times seems to be a statistic average, but your ideal would be 3-5 times a week.
In your answer list, both would be the same answer(a few times a week).
I am probably one of the more sexually active people around here, but even my "ideal" would not be to have sex daily. That seems like a chore, a routine. Sometimes things are a bit off, or you're just tired from work...and simply not wanting to do anything sexual...yet another day you only get out of bed to rehydrate and put a frozen pizza in the oven.
As for stuff being different for different people: People have a very different sex drive. I climax easily, and regardless of sex, i also masturbate quite a bit. Having a partner that only wants to get sexual once a week would be devastating.
A friend of my sister has the "opposite" problem. She only wants sex with her husband like, once a week, preferably on the weekend and after she had time to get into the mood, while he basically tries to get her to "do" it almost daily.
So, any ideals will still not be ultimately representative. For some people, 1 a week or even less may be "ideal", for others, 5-10 times a week. *shrug*.
I know, you probably ask for the individual ideals, i'm just saying that the choice of the word "ideal" as something perfect seems a bit weird to me, as there is no "ideal" answer, if we are being honest, because ideal would imply that it would work great for everybody, which, obviously, it would not.
I checked the stats of the poll and it looks like most people are on the same page, with the people who have been in long-term co-habitating relationships as having only slightly higher expectations for frequency of sex than those who have not. I thought it would be the other way around with all the single horn-dogs out there voting. lol
It's just a silly poll; I'm not looking for ultimate representation here. And, just to be clear, I never said that the word ideal is synonymous with "something perfect".
The reason why I made this poll was to see what people expected or what they thought was ideal, about the quantity of sex in these long-term relationships. Specifically, I was interested in knowing if these ideals differed in any way between those who have been in long relationships and those who have not.
I didn't want people to treat it like a test and guess what they thought the right or wrong answers were; I wanted something slightly more personal. And I hoped, that if people wanted to elaborate or be more specific, they could do so--as many have--in the comments.
As for my answer selection being minimal: Well, I didn't want to bombard users with a long list of answers, so I limited it to categories that I was specifically interested in: daily, few times a week, weekly, monthly basis. I gave my own personal ideals (in a comment) only as an example of how my ideals could differ from what I believe the averages or norms may be (I was only guessing about that too, that's why I wrote "probably").
For the record, I am acutely aware, through personal experience, that individuals have very different sex drives.
How often is enough in a long-term committed relationship?
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Not trying to start an argument, but what is the difference?
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Oh dear, that means I'm still being ambiguous. I appreciate you asking because there could be others who are just as confused by my meanings. I'll better try to explain what I meant, although, I still might not do a good job of it.
By 'ideal' I meant that it would be more of a personal preference, something that is realistically hoped for. This is what I am aiming for in this poll.
By 'correct' I meant that it would be what you think everyone else is doing; more like a schema or norm than a preference.
For example, I think that most couples in these types of relationships probably only have sex 1-2 times a week on average, but what I think is ideal would be closer to 3-5 times a week, or, more specifically, 1-2 during the week and 2-3 times on the weekend.
The reason I wanted to make the distinction was because I can look up the statistics for this stuff but that doesn't tell me what people hope for, only what is actually going on.
When another member commented on it and said, "It's different for different people so there's no answer..." I became concerned that the purpose of my poll was going to be lost on the voters due to the way I worded it, but my poll only sat in moderation for less than an hour so I didn't have a chance to adjust it.
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I see what you mean and I appreciate the explanation thank you.
hm. I understand, but then, your wording is off for the answers.
You say yourself, 1-2 times seems to be a statistic average, but your ideal would be 3-5 times a week.
In your answer list, both would be the same answer(a few times a week).
I am probably one of the more sexually active people around here, but even my "ideal" would not be to have sex daily. That seems like a chore, a routine. Sometimes things are a bit off, or you're just tired from work...and simply not wanting to do anything sexual...yet another day you only get out of bed to rehydrate and put a frozen pizza in the oven.
As for stuff being different for different people: People have a very different sex drive. I climax easily, and regardless of sex, i also masturbate quite a bit. Having a partner that only wants to get sexual once a week would be devastating.
A friend of my sister has the "opposite" problem. She only wants sex with her husband like, once a week, preferably on the weekend and after she had time to get into the mood, while he basically tries to get her to "do" it almost daily.
So, any ideals will still not be ultimately representative. For some people, 1 a week or even less may be "ideal", for others, 5-10 times a week. *shrug*.
I know, you probably ask for the individual ideals, i'm just saying that the choice of the word "ideal" as something perfect seems a bit weird to me, as there is no "ideal" answer, if we are being honest, because ideal would imply that it would work great for everybody, which, obviously, it would not.
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I checked the stats of the poll and it looks like most people are on the same page, with the people who have been in long-term co-habitating relationships as having only slightly higher expectations for frequency of sex than those who have not. I thought it would be the other way around with all the single horn-dogs out there voting. lol
Thank you for you comment.
It's just a silly poll; I'm not looking for ultimate representation here. And, just to be clear, I never said that the word ideal is synonymous with "something perfect".
The reason why I made this poll was to see what people expected or what they thought was ideal, about the quantity of sex in these long-term relationships. Specifically, I was interested in knowing if these ideals differed in any way between those who have been in long relationships and those who have not.
I didn't want people to treat it like a test and guess what they thought the right or wrong answers were; I wanted something slightly more personal. And I hoped, that if people wanted to elaborate or be more specific, they could do so--as many have--in the comments.
As for my answer selection being minimal: Well, I didn't want to bombard users with a long list of answers, so I limited it to categories that I was specifically interested in: daily, few times a week, weekly, monthly basis. I gave my own personal ideals (in a comment) only as an example of how my ideals could differ from what I believe the averages or norms may be (I was only guessing about that too, that's why I wrote "probably").
For the record, I am acutely aware, through personal experience, that individuals have very different sex drives.