How often is enough in a long-term committed relationship?

I've seperated the answers into two groups:

A: those who've had a long-term live-together relationship (married or not) and

B: those who have given it a lot of thought but have not yet had a lengthy co-habitating relationship.

Question:
How much sex is ideal when living together with someone for a few years???

Never had one: I think daily.	33
Never had one: I think a few times a week.	88
Never had one: I think once a week.	16
Never had one: I think a few times a month.	11
Had one: I think daily.	43
Had one: I think a few times a week.	148
Had one: I think once a week.	25
Had one: I think a few times a month.	13

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Comments ( 25 )

OswaldCobblepot

11 years ago

Once every 37.23 hours.

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- VioletTrees
  
  11 years ago
  
  I'm setting a timer.
  
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c9az

11 years ago

a good carpinter never lets any wood go to waist

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howaminotmyself

11 years ago

I think three times a week is good. But I reserve the right to change my mind.

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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

Have one, and at least twice a week. I know when I don't have sex at least twice a week, I feel kind of awkward because it's usually not because we don't want to. We both often have busy weeks where we get carried away with work and school and we just get so busy and when we finally have free time, I kind of feel bad for forgetting that I have a sex life =/

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kit291

11 years ago

well when it's my week on i don't want to have sex so i kinda feel that it is a mixed question lol but yeah i would say about once a week.

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MissyLeyneous

11 years ago

Two or three times per week is optimal, but it depends on the circumstances of that particular week.

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Imposturously_yours

11 years ago

Ideal is every day, a few times a day. But, in practice -there are about 5 days a week when I'd rather just drag myself home from the gym and sleep or watch tv. The remaining 2 -eh... maybe.

Good sex is catabolic activity, in other words -another work out.

One of the reasons I choose to be single. This way sex is an occasional, doesn't impair my ability to perform the day after, and doesn't compromise my sleep.

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lc1988

11 years ago

Have one and I would say a few times a week is ideal. For us it's usually 5-6 times depending on work schedules and whatnot but we have sex a few days in a row then not for one day, etc

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- [Old Memory]
  
  11 years ago
  
  fap
  
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dappled

11 years ago

I've been in one long-term committed relationship in the live-together sense (yes, folks, dappled has only had one girlfriend he lived with. Gay!)

Often enough is how often enough is good for both of you. If it suits you and it suits her, it's good. It's different for different people so there's no answer to this that suits everyone.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  Gay! :O
  
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  - dappled
    
    11 years ago
    
    ...and the girl in question was a tomboy. Double gay! *nods*
    
    And also she bit me really hard once on the buttock. Treble gay!
    
    And... here's the best bit for you personally... she currently owns a dog named after a superhero. And yes, it *is* the one you're thinking of.
    
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    - NeuroNeptunian
      
      11 years ago
      
      YOU'RE FLAMING! SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
      
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      - dappled
        
        11 years ago
        
        You know what? I so wish you could meet her and she could tell you the name of her dog.
        
        Seriously. That *is* the name of her dog. It really is. :)
        
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KeddersPrincess

11 years ago

It depends on the people. What kind of agreement did you come up with? How much do you want sex?

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

I'm totally lost now.

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Anonymous Post Author

11 years ago

To clarify,
I'm asking what people feel is 'ideal,'
not what they think is correct.

I should have specified that in my poll

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- Anime7
  
  11 years ago
  
  Not trying to start an argument, but what is the difference?
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    Oh dear, that means I'm still being ambiguous. I appreciate you asking because there could be others who are just as confused by my meanings. I'll better try to explain what I meant, although, I still might not do a good job of it.
    
    By 'ideal' I meant that it would be more of a personal preference, something that is realistically hoped for. This is what I am aiming for in this poll.
    
    By 'correct' I meant that it would be what you think everyone else is doing; more like a schema or norm than a preference.
    
    For example, I think that most couples in these types of relationships probably only have sex 1-2 times a week on average, but what I think is ideal would be closer to 3-5 times a week, or, more specifically, 1-2 during the week and 2-3 times on the weekend.
    
    The reason I wanted to make the distinction was because I can look up the statistics for this stuff but that doesn't tell me what people hope for, only what is actually going on.
    
    When another member commented on it and said, "It's different for different people so there's no answer..." I became concerned that the purpose of my poll was going to be lost on the voters due to the way I worded it, but my poll only sat in moderation for less than an hour so I didn't have a chance to adjust it.
    
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    - Anime7
      
      11 years ago
      
      I see what you mean and I appreciate the explanation thank you.
      
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    - TerryVie
      
      11 years ago
      
      hm. I understand, but then, your wording is off for the answers.
      
      You say yourself, 1-2 times seems to be a statistic average, but your ideal would be 3-5 times a week.
      
      In your answer list, both would be the same answer(a few times a week).
      I am probably one of the more sexually active people around here, but even my "ideal" would not be to have sex daily. That seems like a chore, a routine. Sometimes things are a bit off, or you're just tired from work...and simply not wanting to do anything sexual...yet another day you only get out of bed to rehydrate and put a frozen pizza in the oven.
      
      As for stuff being different for different people: People have a very different sex drive. I climax easily, and regardless of sex, i also masturbate quite a bit. Having a partner that only wants to get sexual once a week would be devastating.
      
      A friend of my sister has the "opposite" problem. She only wants sex with her husband like, once a week, preferably on the weekend and after she had time to get into the mood, while he basically tries to get her to "do" it almost daily.
      
      So, any ideals will still not be ultimately representative. For some people, 1 a week or even less may be "ideal", for others, 5-10 times a week. *shrug*.
      
      I know, you probably ask for the individual ideals, i'm just saying that the choice of the word "ideal" as something perfect seems a bit weird to me, as there is no "ideal" answer, if we are being honest, because ideal would imply that it would work great for everybody, which, obviously, it would not.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        I checked the stats of the poll and it looks like most people are on the same page, with the people who have been in long-term co-habitating relationships as having only slightly higher expectations for frequency of sex than those who have not. I thought it would be the other way around with all the single horn-dogs out there voting. lol
        
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        Thank you for you comment.
        
        It's just a silly poll; I'm not looking for ultimate representation here. And, just to be clear, I never said that the word ideal is synonymous with "something perfect".
        
        The reason why I made this poll was to see what people expected or what they thought was ideal, about the quantity of sex in these long-term relationships. Specifically, I was interested in knowing if these ideals differed in any way between those who have been in long relationships and those who have not.
        
        I didn't want people to treat it like a test and guess what they thought the right or wrong answers were; I wanted something slightly more personal. And I hoped, that if people wanted to elaborate or be more specific, they could do so--as many have--in the comments.
        
        As for my answer selection being minimal: Well, I didn't want to bombard users with a long list of answers, so I limited it to categories that I was specifically interested in: daily, few times a week, weekly, monthly basis. I gave my own personal ideals (in a comment) only as an example of how my ideals could differ from what I believe the averages or norms may be (I was only guessing about that too, that's why I wrote "probably").
        
        For the record, I am acutely aware, through personal experience, that individuals have very different sex drives.
        
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Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

where is the option for still in one

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Are You Normal?

How often is enough in a long-term committed relationship?