I think everyone has an OCD or rather compulsion to do something on some level. OCD itself is normal, however an OCD that takes over and effects your life, inhibiting you from doing things you should or shouldn't is. I have OCD and I'm beginning to realize OCD in a mild (a bit disruptive) extreme (OMG you have to stop or this will happen) develop in people with rough or traumatic childhood's. Anything can be an OCD and specifically numbers, cleaning, checking and rechecking things and certain thoughts are some of the most common. I personally have quite a few OCD's and they're hard as hell to break. I have them with order of colors or blank spaces. I also have them with numbers. Certain numbers are bad and some are good. Doesn't matter if they're even or odd. If you're seriously to a point where you will hurt yourself, just to make something even, then I wouldn't call your OCD mild by any stretch. I'd say that's pretty extreme. If I got 6 cuts (6 is a bad number for me, though I'm starting to lose my number issues after working on them for a year) then I wouldn't try to give myself another cut just to make it 7 which would be an alright number. Also "Just to clarify, these are not obsessions or necessities, just strong urges, and nobody knows that i do it, i try to hide it as best I can." If you're having to hide what you do it's an OCD. You can stop an urge, you can't stop an OCD (unless you practice) and when you do stop if, you get a horrible nagging feeling when you don't participate in it. For instance. You reach your hand in to get a couple of cookies from a package. You count how many you have and realize it's three. Your doctor said the max is three but you get another just so it can be even numbered regardless of the consequence. Or conversely you were good about it and only had three, then all you can think about is that damn 4th cookie the rest of the day. That's an OCD. Also I know cookies could be an addiction, so just make the scenario an object of compulsion instead.
how normal is my ocd?
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I think everyone has an OCD or rather compulsion to do something on some level. OCD itself is normal, however an OCD that takes over and effects your life, inhibiting you from doing things you should or shouldn't is. I have OCD and I'm beginning to realize OCD in a mild (a bit disruptive) extreme (OMG you have to stop or this will happen) develop in people with rough or traumatic childhood's. Anything can be an OCD and specifically numbers, cleaning, checking and rechecking things and certain thoughts are some of the most common. I personally have quite a few OCD's and they're hard as hell to break. I have them with order of colors or blank spaces. I also have them with numbers. Certain numbers are bad and some are good. Doesn't matter if they're even or odd. If you're seriously to a point where you will hurt yourself, just to make something even, then I wouldn't call your OCD mild by any stretch. I'd say that's pretty extreme. If I got 6 cuts (6 is a bad number for me, though I'm starting to lose my number issues after working on them for a year) then I wouldn't try to give myself another cut just to make it 7 which would be an alright number. Also "Just to clarify, these are not obsessions or necessities, just strong urges, and nobody knows that i do it, i try to hide it as best I can." If you're having to hide what you do it's an OCD. You can stop an urge, you can't stop an OCD (unless you practice) and when you do stop if, you get a horrible nagging feeling when you don't participate in it. For instance. You reach your hand in to get a couple of cookies from a package. You count how many you have and realize it's three. Your doctor said the max is three but you get another just so it can be even numbered regardless of the consequence. Or conversely you were good about it and only had three, then all you can think about is that damn 4th cookie the rest of the day. That's an OCD. Also I know cookies could be an addiction, so just make the scenario an object of compulsion instead.