Threeish. There are two who I suppose I hate, and one who I have bitterness towards but don't exactly hate.
Mind, when I say I hate two, I don't want them to live terrible lives, but if they came to my house, I'd answer the door with a hammer. Or call the police, I guess. That would probably be more practical.
The one I have bitterness towards was manipulative and controlling. I got together with him at the end of my senior year of high school, and dated him for about a year. When I went to college, he didn't want me to leave the dorm by myself. Ever. He didn't want me to go to concerts. Whenever I wanted to spend a weekend doing homework or with my friends, he insisted that I wasn't spending enough time with him (even though we spent the entirety of almost every weekend together, plus some weekdays). When I tried to put my food down about anything I wanted, he would get manipulative, crying and asking me why I didn't love him. He'd keep me on the phone after I'd taken my sleeping medication, even though I told him that it was physically painful to stay awake.
I think he saw me as a damsel in distress, both because of my disabilities and my past. He came into my life thinking he would be my white knight, my protector. He actually asked me out shortly after I confessed that my ex-boyfriend (one of the aforementioned other two) raped me when I was 14. I was still recovering from the trauma and dealing with symptoms of PTSD. At first, I suppose he was reasonably understanding, but soon, I think it became clear to him that they weren't something he could control or fix.
After we'd been together for only a short time, he started making the trauma and my symptoms about him. I understand that helping a loved one with something like that can be very difficult, and I encouraged him to talk about his feelings about it with me or a therapist at his college. He refused the therapist and my attempts to sit down and have a talk about it. Instead, he talked constantly about how angry he was at my ex, and how he was going to murder him. I made it clear to him that that wouldn't help. He got very, very angry talking about it, which was very frightening to me when I was willing to listen to him talk about his violent thoughts, but I was not willing to plot a murder with him. He didn't listen, and started pressuring me to help him track my ex. He also started yelling when I had flashbacks, which made things much, much worse.
He also became extremely overprotective. He knew some martial arts, and he acted like he was in a movie all the time. He was constantly pointing out "dangerous" people to me, and they were always black or latino men just minding their own business (he was not pleased when I pointed this out to him). I mentioned earlier that he didn't want me to leave my dorm alone or go out. He threatened to break up with me if I dyed my hair or got piercings. He didn't want me going to the Collective (the club for LGBT people and people who were interested in LGBT rights at my college), because he didn't think I should be bisexual anymore if I was with him. He tried to pressure me to get engaged to him.
ANYWAY, uh, there's like two pages of me complaining about my ex boyfriend. Enjoy?
How many of your romances turned to hate?
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Threeish. There are two who I suppose I hate, and one who I have bitterness towards but don't exactly hate.
Mind, when I say I hate two, I don't want them to live terrible lives, but if they came to my house, I'd answer the door with a hammer. Or call the police, I guess. That would probably be more practical.
The one I have bitterness towards was manipulative and controlling. I got together with him at the end of my senior year of high school, and dated him for about a year. When I went to college, he didn't want me to leave the dorm by myself. Ever. He didn't want me to go to concerts. Whenever I wanted to spend a weekend doing homework or with my friends, he insisted that I wasn't spending enough time with him (even though we spent the entirety of almost every weekend together, plus some weekdays). When I tried to put my food down about anything I wanted, he would get manipulative, crying and asking me why I didn't love him. He'd keep me on the phone after I'd taken my sleeping medication, even though I told him that it was physically painful to stay awake.
I think he saw me as a damsel in distress, both because of my disabilities and my past. He came into my life thinking he would be my white knight, my protector. He actually asked me out shortly after I confessed that my ex-boyfriend (one of the aforementioned other two) raped me when I was 14. I was still recovering from the trauma and dealing with symptoms of PTSD. At first, I suppose he was reasonably understanding, but soon, I think it became clear to him that they weren't something he could control or fix.
After we'd been together for only a short time, he started making the trauma and my symptoms about him. I understand that helping a loved one with something like that can be very difficult, and I encouraged him to talk about his feelings about it with me or a therapist at his college. He refused the therapist and my attempts to sit down and have a talk about it. Instead, he talked constantly about how angry he was at my ex, and how he was going to murder him. I made it clear to him that that wouldn't help. He got very, very angry talking about it, which was very frightening to me when I was willing to listen to him talk about his violent thoughts, but I was not willing to plot a murder with him. He didn't listen, and started pressuring me to help him track my ex. He also started yelling when I had flashbacks, which made things much, much worse.
He also became extremely overprotective. He knew some martial arts, and he acted like he was in a movie all the time. He was constantly pointing out "dangerous" people to me, and they were always black or latino men just minding their own business (he was not pleased when I pointed this out to him). I mentioned earlier that he didn't want me to leave my dorm alone or go out. He threatened to break up with me if I dyed my hair or got piercings. He didn't want me going to the Collective (the club for LGBT people and people who were interested in LGBT rights at my college), because he didn't think I should be bisexual anymore if I was with him. He tried to pressure me to get engaged to him.
ANYWAY, uh, there's like two pages of me complaining about my ex boyfriend. Enjoy?