Never, really. Sometimes it's turned into an intense feeling of not wanting to have anything to do with that person, but it usually passes. Only twice did it stick around, but those two really stung me badly. I'd be a better person if I'd met neither of them.
I'm glad you said that last part. People like to say that bad experiences make us better people, but they don't always. Even when they do, it's not always worth it, and that kind of "all for the best" attitude strikes me as really insensitive to people who've really suffered and not got much out of it.
I did wonder whether to admit to it, but I know it's true. They made me harder and more cynical and much less eager to trust unconditionally. One also left me so much in debt that it took me five years to get straight.
I don't know if I'd be a better person if I'd not met my two worst exes. I understand and empathise with some things now on a deeper level than I did before. I can try to help other people that way. But I lost so much to give so little.
I suppose in any situation there are some positives, though, even if the overall picture is negative. One positive is that I recognised I was attracting a certain type of person and I now have a little alarm bell that rings where previously I had a "Oh, she seems nice" internal voice.
How many of your romances turned to hate?
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Never, really. Sometimes it's turned into an intense feeling of not wanting to have anything to do with that person, but it usually passes. Only twice did it stick around, but those two really stung me badly. I'd be a better person if I'd met neither of them.
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VioletTrees
11 years ago
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I'm glad you said that last part. People like to say that bad experiences make us better people, but they don't always. Even when they do, it's not always worth it, and that kind of "all for the best" attitude strikes me as really insensitive to people who've really suffered and not got much out of it.
--
dappled
11 years ago
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I did wonder whether to admit to it, but I know it's true. They made me harder and more cynical and much less eager to trust unconditionally. One also left me so much in debt that it took me five years to get straight.
--
VioletTrees
11 years ago
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I don't know if I'd be a better person if I'd not met my two worst exes. I understand and empathise with some things now on a deeper level than I did before. I can try to help other people that way. But I lost so much to give so little.
It wasn't worth it.
--
dappled
11 years ago
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I suppose in any situation there are some positives, though, even if the overall picture is negative. One positive is that I recognised I was attracting a certain type of person and I now have a little alarm bell that rings where previously I had a "Oh, she seems nice" internal voice.