How long would you give someone before you break up?

My BF and I have been in a Long Distance Relationship for 5 years and Together for 2. We both finished college last year (me in may, him in august) he has been jobless for 5 1/2 months, while I have a job, in my field. He says he wants to be with me in our home town, but when I try to help him get on his feet, he gets lazy and scared. He acts like a baby who doesnt want to do anything.

He hasent applied for a single job, and when I try to help and give him applications and look for apartments, he gets all defensive and angry like I am rushing him. Should I move on or give him more time?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 30 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Move on, when I moved towns to be with my boyfriend my third day in I was walking the area getting applications from every place that was hiring and turned them in the same day, first 2 days we spent together. Point being when you need a job you get your ass in gear it doesn't matter what it is as long as it covered your bills and food. Once that's covered you try to get sonething a bit more fitting. It's the way of life and he's bum

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  • Dont be with a loser. Go get a winner. You should be the one not working. I bet you make a mean sandwich.

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  • I would say leave. But I don't know you two. Maybe he's the love of your life and he's just going through a bad patch/depression? Only you know the answer to this OP.

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  • Move on. There's no point in being with a lazy, cowardly, mooch.

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  • I can understand his fear, but what gets me is he isn't communicating with you about it. He's playing the, "I'm a man! I don't need help," card with his partner of 7 years.

    End it simply because he wont talk to you. Relationships can go through way worse than moving and job searching; if he can't handle this small bump, then he'll be completely useless in real problems. He's unreliable.

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    • Thanks for the advice.

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  • In my grandpa’s last words...
    “Stop shaking the ladder you little cunt!”

    But in his wise words, “If he don’t leave the couch, then you need to leave him.”

    It was more about me poking the dog who was sleeping on his couch. But I think it applies here

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    • Thats what i’m thinking as well.

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  • I like to think I would have left by now.

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  • Why are you asking us? It all depends on personal matters. It’s your choice and would make more sense to talk to him about it. I personally would not break up with someone just because they’re jobless, it would depend on why that’s the case.

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    • I am asking if you think its silly for me to hold on even after I have talked to him numerous times about it.

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      • Oh, then yeah it kinda is. If you aren't happy with the relationship then it's time to cut ties and move on with your life. You've told him "numerous times", I'd said that's fair warning.

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      • Move on if you can bring yourself to do it.

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      • If you hold on, he may make a failed attempt at becoming a rock and roll star, and end up working as a janitor. Or, he may become a video game addict. But he most likely will become a vegetable. This is your future. Better take some action. Life is short.

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  • Can't force the guy! If he don't wanna do nothing, then he don't wanna do nothing! And you need to respect that... Although If you don't want to be with a guy like that, then don't be with him. Pretty bloody simple.

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