29 years this March. Those despots keep me here in this barren, festerin' hellhole of a time-out corner, forced to subsist on vegetables and healthy cereals. Fiber One, Raisin Bran - I've seen it all, kid. Haven't eaten ice cream in decades. I screamed in horror as they put the cookie jar on a shelf I couldn't reach. Fuckers made me watch 'em do it.
Done my damnedest to make a break for the door, but every time I do, they sing their screeching siren song -- "ten... nine... eight..." I ain't no match for a countdown like that. God only knows what hell I'd face if they got to zero. A lecture. A spanking. Might even throw away my trusty sidekick, Poochie Bear. I shudder at the thought.
Hell, consider this my dying breath. I been chiseling away at the wall with the tip of my dunce cap and I caught a glimpse o' moonlight last night. Ain't gonna be nothin' left of me but the 28 notches on the floor. Tonight's the night, Poochie Bear. Next time we greet the sun, it'll be as free men. Who knows how long we'll last out there.
You know what's weird? I predicted your return to within a couple of days. It's either going to look like I'm a genius, that you and I are the same person, that IIN people move in mysterious ways, that it's a complete coincidence, or you are Halley's comet.
Did you leave for good or not? Whenever you come back please let this be the first thing that you comment. I want to say something outlandish, and ridiculous, but I don't think I can withstand your horde of fan-girls, stalkers, and whoever else for your attention. So, I think I'll just leave it like this. A nice, fairly simple comment. You're cool or something. Don't comment on this first. Or do. Yeah. Do.
How long have you ever been grounded?
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29 years this March. Those despots keep me here in this barren, festerin' hellhole of a time-out corner, forced to subsist on vegetables and healthy cereals. Fiber One, Raisin Bran - I've seen it all, kid. Haven't eaten ice cream in decades. I screamed in horror as they put the cookie jar on a shelf I couldn't reach. Fuckers made me watch 'em do it.
Done my damnedest to make a break for the door, but every time I do, they sing their screeching siren song -- "ten... nine... eight..." I ain't no match for a countdown like that. God only knows what hell I'd face if they got to zero. A lecture. A spanking. Might even throw away my trusty sidekick, Poochie Bear. I shudder at the thought.
Hell, consider this my dying breath. I been chiseling away at the wall with the tip of my dunce cap and I caught a glimpse o' moonlight last night. Ain't gonna be nothin' left of me but the 28 notches on the floor. Tonight's the night, Poochie Bear. Next time we greet the sun, it'll be as free men. Who knows how long we'll last out there.
Tonight's the night.
--
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You know what's weird? I predicted your return to within a couple of days. It's either going to look like I'm a genius, that you and I are the same person, that IIN people move in mysterious ways, that it's a complete coincidence, or you are Halley's comet.
Welcome back, flutterhalley.
That was very entertaining to read. Thank you for that.
Did you leave for good or not? Whenever you come back please let this be the first thing that you comment. I want to say something outlandish, and ridiculous, but I don't think I can withstand your horde of fan-girls, stalkers, and whoever else for your attention. So, I think I'll just leave it like this. A nice, fairly simple comment. You're cool or something. Don't comment on this first. Or do. Yeah. Do.
Where did you go? Your awesomeness is, like, the only reason I even came to this site.