Well I'm married now anyway, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
When I was young and first started dating I made a lot of concessions for guys. After gaining experience I realized certain things I just was NOT willing to put up with anymore. I never did come across a guy who was "perfectly good" except for having a car. Not having a car is usually one of many reasons I wouldn't date someone.
You also have to understand, where I live a car IS a necessity. It's very rural, there's no public transport, everything is all spread out and the weather is shit for about 75% of the year.
If someone around here doesn't have a car it's usually indicative of a host of other problems. No job, no license, DUI's, etc. Even if none of those things apply, not having a car puts such a strain on the relationship. Whether it's driving or anything else, when one partner has to do a lot more than the other it causes problems. You get fed up.
I have the right to say what I'm willing to put up with. It doesn't make me bad. It's not like I didn't try, I did give some guys a chance before but it just didn't work out. Not 100% because of the car thing but it was a big part of the deterioration of the relationship.
Well said. It takes money to run a car and a decent driving history. People who've had their licenses suspended, no insurance, etc is a reflection of their own bad character.
I've known people like that and I'm glad they're not on the road being a threat to other drivers.
It also means they don't have their shit in order-some other problems in their lives/lazy, irresponsible, etc.
Perhaps willyma is one of these types of people or just a broke drug-head type and is bitter, who knows.
Where did I say if you're a student then you're a delinquent? I said some men who can't drive may have bad characters.
My point is pretty simple, if you're out of school and don't have a job-why not? Or if you have a job, but don't have a car, either you're mismanaging your money, or you're a screw-up in some other way-assuming a car is necessary where you are.
You're taking all of this way too personally as if everyone is posting about you specifically. I get the sense that maybe you are one of these individuals we're describing and it bothers you that we're pointing it out.
Do you *really* not need a car? You say you don't have to commute very far, so how far is not far? How do you get around? If you're bumming rides and can't reliably get around then that's definitely a turn off. But if you're able to take public transport/walk/bike and be available to get to any reasonable destination on time and save money then there's nothing wrong with that.
I did date guys without cars at/before that age and that's precisely when I also realized I needed to STOP dating them anymore. It didn't take me long to figure it out!
It just depends on how limited you are by not having a car, are you bumming rides and/or unreliable, why you don't have a car, and what the norm is for your area. If you're unavailable and unreliable or constantly bumming rides then that's not good. I wouldn't want to have to wait up and have to orchestrate rides or wait for you to find a ride if we were supposed to go out.
I'm a 20-year -old student, who lives in the city and used to live in the suburbs. From where I live now it takes me 5 min to get to Uni.
I'm, however, subscribed to a company which has carparks all over several cities (there is one just outside the appartment) where I can pretty much stroll up to a car, unlock it with my membership card and drive off. All of the cars are new. As a woman/girl how would you feel about your date using something like that, as owning a car is quite unnecessary in all other aspects, I find.
I'm from Germany. The service I use is based off several cities in central Germany. I'm not sure about other regions. I do, however, know that the national railway also offers a similar service in every major city (albeit only from trainstations, I think). Many companies are partnered so that if you are with one company you can use cars from those other companies.
I would also like to add that one is fully insured for damages one does to car or to others with the car.
Carshares (or carparks) exist in all major US cities and many smaller ones. Even companies like Uhaul, Enterprise, and Hertz have got into the business of carsharing.
Zipcar, the largest carsharing company sold to Avis for nearly half a billion because of the success and rental companies want a piece of the action. Now peer to per car sharing is becoming a reality as more an more people become less attached to their cars.
How Important is a car, when dating
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so. a car is so important, you're willing to ignore a perfectly good guy.
WOW. you give women a bad name.
seriously get that stick outta your ass. sweetheart
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wigsplitz
10 years ago
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Well I'm married now anyway, so it doesn't really matter anymore.
When I was young and first started dating I made a lot of concessions for guys. After gaining experience I realized certain things I just was NOT willing to put up with anymore. I never did come across a guy who was "perfectly good" except for having a car. Not having a car is usually one of many reasons I wouldn't date someone.
You also have to understand, where I live a car IS a necessity. It's very rural, there's no public transport, everything is all spread out and the weather is shit for about 75% of the year.
If someone around here doesn't have a car it's usually indicative of a host of other problems. No job, no license, DUI's, etc. Even if none of those things apply, not having a car puts such a strain on the relationship. Whether it's driving or anything else, when one partner has to do a lot more than the other it causes problems. You get fed up.
I have the right to say what I'm willing to put up with. It doesn't make me bad. It's not like I didn't try, I did give some guys a chance before but it just didn't work out. Not 100% because of the car thing but it was a big part of the deterioration of the relationship.
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lufa
10 years ago
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willyma
10 years ago
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Well said. It takes money to run a car and a decent driving history. People who've had their licenses suspended, no insurance, etc is a reflection of their own bad character.
I've known people like that and I'm glad they're not on the road being a threat to other drivers.
It also means they don't have their shit in order-some other problems in their lives/lazy, irresponsible, etc.
Perhaps willyma is one of these types of people or just a broke drug-head type and is bitter, who knows.
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willyma
10 years ago
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Ok. so your suggesting that a car is a symbol of wealth. but also stability?
any student that doesn't drive must be a delinquent?
I'm sure there are men out their who don't drive. Yet are still normal citizens.
Dating a man because he has a car. is fine, but don't bullshit about, car-drivers being better human beings.
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lufa
10 years ago
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Where did I say if you're a student then you're a delinquent? I said some men who can't drive may have bad characters.
My point is pretty simple, if you're out of school and don't have a job-why not? Or if you have a job, but don't have a car, either you're mismanaging your money, or you're a screw-up in some other way-assuming a car is necessary where you are.
You're taking all of this way too personally as if everyone is posting about you specifically. I get the sense that maybe you are one of these individuals we're describing and it bothers you that we're pointing it out.
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willyma
10 years ago
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lol. i needed to see if your argument held up.
your welcome to your opinion.
But remember, your more than a car.. women should see that too
PEACE
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lufa
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lol @ this guy-obviously a car is usually just the starting point, including an education.
At least for women who expect more out of man than just a penis and can inhale and exhale.
haha. I think we are on different wavelengths.
Im 19 (in college) and live in the city.
You're middle aged and in the countryside (married).
I'm more concerned with women my own age. that live in the city.
Im sure when you were 19, you dated men without a car. so im happy
thank-you for commenting
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wigsplitz
10 years ago
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Whoa there! I'm not quite middle aged!
Do you *really* not need a car? You say you don't have to commute very far, so how far is not far? How do you get around? If you're bumming rides and can't reliably get around then that's definitely a turn off. But if you're able to take public transport/walk/bike and be available to get to any reasonable destination on time and save money then there's nothing wrong with that.
I did date guys without cars at/before that age and that's precisely when I also realized I needed to STOP dating them anymore. It didn't take me long to figure it out!
It just depends on how limited you are by not having a car, are you bumming rides and/or unreliable, why you don't have a car, and what the norm is for your area. If you're unavailable and unreliable or constantly bumming rides then that's not good. I wouldn't want to have to wait up and have to orchestrate rides or wait for you to find a ride if we were supposed to go out.
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malkiot
10 years ago
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I'm a 20-year -old student, who lives in the city and used to live in the suburbs. From where I live now it takes me 5 min to get to Uni.
I'm, however, subscribed to a company which has carparks all over several cities (there is one just outside the appartment) where I can pretty much stroll up to a car, unlock it with my membership card and drive off. All of the cars are new. As a woman/girl how would you feel about your date using something like that, as owning a car is quite unnecessary in all other aspects, I find.
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RoseIsabella
10 years ago
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Where are you from that they have that?
That kinda thing wouldn't go over well in most of the U.S.
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malkiot
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howaminotmyself
10 years ago
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I'm from Germany. The service I use is based off several cities in central Germany. I'm not sure about other regions. I do, however, know that the national railway also offers a similar service in every major city (albeit only from trainstations, I think). Many companies are partnered so that if you are with one company you can use cars from those other companies.
I would also like to add that one is fully insured for damages one does to car or to others with the car.
Carshares (or carparks) exist in all major US cities and many smaller ones. Even companies like Uhaul, Enterprise, and Hertz have got into the business of carsharing.
Zipcar, the largest carsharing company sold to Avis for nearly half a billion because of the success and rental companies want a piece of the action. Now peer to per car sharing is becoming a reality as more an more people become less attached to their cars.