How do I lose weight?

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  • Portion control and count calories. Limit yourself to 1000 calories a day and as long as you stay at 1000 calories, no matter what you eat, you will lose weight. But even in a wheelchair, you can exercise.
    Or, put both arms in a cast so that you can't bend your elbows. You won't be able to get much food into your mouth that way.
    Or get put into a drug induced coma for a month. You will definitely lose weight that way.

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    • 1000 might be a little low depending on your metabolic characteristics but in general this is very good advice.

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