Not sure about that, dappled. In my own life, I knew how I did NOT want to be treated coz of my upbringing.
I read something last night about how people with low self-esteem ASK others to treat them well - yeah right, that'd work!! However, people with high self-esteen SHOW other people that they will not tolerate being treated badly.
I can only liken this to being in the pub with the lads. I do not tolerate crude jokes in my presence - which they all respect. However, some other girls are treated like scum in the same company - and put up with it!!
Just my thoughts ....
Anyhow, I think a lot of women think they love these bullies but if they made a list of what they love and what they don't love about them, I bet the don't love side would be longer. You can't truly love someone if you don't actually like them!
Yeah, I agree, but I think we all know people who've stayed in an abusive relationship longer than they should and always thought the other person would change even though they know full well that they won't. Also people who move from one relationship like this to another, or people who do settle down with a nice person and then find something missing or boring. I don't think anyone (apart from masochists) consciously seeks someone to hurt them, but there does often seem to be an unconscious pattern where some people seek out what they are familiar with or - like you said - get what they think they deserve.
How can we love someone that abuses us?
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Not sure about that, dappled. In my own life, I knew how I did NOT want to be treated coz of my upbringing.
I read something last night about how people with low self-esteem ASK others to treat them well - yeah right, that'd work!! However, people with high self-esteen SHOW other people that they will not tolerate being treated badly.
I can only liken this to being in the pub with the lads. I do not tolerate crude jokes in my presence - which they all respect. However, some other girls are treated like scum in the same company - and put up with it!!
Just my thoughts ....
Anyhow, I think a lot of women think they love these bullies but if they made a list of what they love and what they don't love about them, I bet the don't love side would be longer. You can't truly love someone if you don't actually like them!
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dappled
12 years ago
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Yeah, I agree, but I think we all know people who've stayed in an abusive relationship longer than they should and always thought the other person would change even though they know full well that they won't. Also people who move from one relationship like this to another, or people who do settle down with a nice person and then find something missing or boring. I don't think anyone (apart from masochists) consciously seeks someone to hurt them, but there does often seem to be an unconscious pattern where some people seek out what they are familiar with or - like you said - get what they think they deserve.
People can be so complex.