But isn't always worrying what people think about you a bit paranoid? Anyway ...
Lets assume your worry stems from your family having bad mouthed you on a frequent basis, so you have been hurt, and have real trust issues, and believe you have to be perfect. You can't possibly look forward to a toxic and stressful visit like that.
Here's a crazy idea. Take control. Take all the control. It is your home and event - don't be rude - but just try to please yourself. And, beyond just hosting, take no responsibility for them to enjoy themselves.
What would be fun for you? No visit? Then cancel it. Or if you are holding it what type of event do you want - what would please you and you alone. Beans and toast or order in for Christmas dinner? Great. Be selfish.
And if they don't like that you have done exactly as you pleased for yourself - then screw 'em - because they would be unhappy anyways - because unless you behaved horribly, which is unlikely THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE TO ENJOY THEMSELVES. And if they don't - to bad - at least you will have enjoyed it.
OK - maybe this is far fetched - but I am trying to say instead of trying to be perfect, just relax & be yourself.
The fact is they would dump on you either way, if that is what they are into. So you may as well not get stressed trying to be perfect and the pleaser.
In the end - I wouldn't even have them in my house - family or not - if they were such toxic ingrates.
How can I stop caring about what others think
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But isn't always worrying what people think about you a bit paranoid? Anyway ...
Lets assume your worry stems from your family having bad mouthed you on a frequent basis, so you have been hurt, and have real trust issues, and believe you have to be perfect. You can't possibly look forward to a toxic and stressful visit like that.
Here's a crazy idea. Take control. Take all the control. It is your home and event - don't be rude - but just try to please yourself. And, beyond just hosting, take no responsibility for them to enjoy themselves.
What would be fun for you? No visit? Then cancel it. Or if you are holding it what type of event do you want - what would please you and you alone. Beans and toast or order in for Christmas dinner? Great. Be selfish.
And if they don't like that you have done exactly as you pleased for yourself - then screw 'em - because they would be unhappy anyways - because unless you behaved horribly, which is unlikely THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE TO ENJOY THEMSELVES. And if they don't - to bad - at least you will have enjoyed it.
OK - maybe this is far fetched - but I am trying to say instead of trying to be perfect, just relax & be yourself.
The fact is they would dump on you either way, if that is what they are into. So you may as well not get stressed trying to be perfect and the pleaser.
In the end - I wouldn't even have them in my house - family or not - if they were such toxic ingrates.