Head over heels in love with my best friend!!
Okay I have no where else to turn to, its becoming unbearable!! I am completely and utterly head over heels in love with this girl. When shes out with me she makes me happy, like earlier on she was just lying there asleep on my bed and I couldn’t help but stare and stroke her hair, honestly I’m surprised the others haven’t noticed, well if they have noticed they haven’t said anything to me. Then when I tried to go to sleep like an hour ago I couldn’t think of anything else, plus as she fell asleep on my pillow in my bed that’s all I can smell is her, its driving me mad, but I know that I can never tell her as that will completely ruin what we have now and possibly turn all my friends against me. Friend B probably suspects me fancying Friend A but she would never say it out loud. I just feel so unbelievably guilty, I know that Friend A belongs to her boyfriend (I don’t mean to talk about her as a possession) but its not my place to be thinking of Friend A in this way. I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to cope anymore… I don’t know why it suddenly hit me today, all the emotion just came flooding back, it was strange, I think I kind of buried it all inside of me, and then suddenly today my heart just kind of lifted/sank I’m unsure but it felt different and good. I’ve never felt about anyone like this before (especially a girl), and I cant feel like this about her. I just cant its not RIGHT, its weird!! She has a boyfriend, who happens to be one of my close friends, She doesn’t fancy me plus shes in love with her boyfriend so why am I even thinking like this when I know that nothing can ever and WILL never happen! Oh its just so frustrating. It makes me want to scream, and then I see her and everything goes away. Oh for f**k sake!!!!!!!
WHAT DO I DO???