He said i can only get in his pants when he tells me 2

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35 Comments

So my boyfriend just told me after I was being flirty that the only time I'll get in his pants is when he tells me two, wich I guess is a dominate thing anyways when I asked him about it he just said don't worry about it. So I mean I don't know what to think, what do you guys think?

Edit, I finally got to talk to him about it and he laughed. He said he was joking and that it's funny that I'm so caught up on it. Still feel a little down about it though. I don't know but yea still though

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51% Normal
Based on 43 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 35 )
  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Hmmm...

    On the one hand, consent.

    On the other, a guy who doesn't want the woman to take the initiative...?

    Him stonewalling when you asked why he has this rule suggests he either doesn't know why he wants this, or he's too embarrassed about the reason to talk to you about it. Either of which means it's something you definitely need to talk about.

    As a general rule, if a guy tells you not to worry about something you should start worrying.

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    • [Old Memory]
      5 years ago

      Kinda weird because when I say don't worry about it, I really mean it, and I don't like messing around like that. A guy saying stuff like this and not mean it sounds like a pussy.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      Yea he hardly ever wants to share with me unless he's really upset about something and I don't why it is so, he says he does but he doesn't. For example you ask him how his day was and he's just like it was ok, he doesn't get descriptive hardly ever let alone on something like this, and yea I'm definitly worried about him stonewalling me. He knows I'm a worrier and that I over think things so I guess till he feels he's gonna share that information with me he just isn't gonna get any, I'll probably use the same line on him. Cause yea that's not ok, yea he doesn't want me to take the initiative it seems, he's only ever interested on being on top two and it's like what the fudge!? I don't understand it, I love him I do but I don't think me and him will last, if for any other reason than him not giving enough info on anything. Granted we have been together for almoist 6 months

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      • Boojum
        5 years ago

        Only sketchy information, but my most charitable interpretation is that he's a young guy who's bought into the whole strong, silent man mythology, who isn't very in-touch with his emotional side, and who is possibly insecure about sex, maybe because he doesn't know much about it - because, hey, it's all supposed to come naturally if you're one of those strong, silent men, right?

        Alternatively, he could be a controlling dickhead who wants to control the information you have about him, who wants to control you during sex and who - since he knows you worry - deliberately uses uncertainty to push your buttons (which is obviously another aspect of control).

        For what it's worth, it wasn't until I'd been through one marriage and was nearly 30 that I finally understood that guys didn't have to be like the emotionally repressed father I learned how to be a guy from. Maybe he's not a hopeless case and he just needs to learn and grow up, or maybe he's a controlling asshole with psychopathic tendencies. You have a far better idea than anyone here.

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        • curious-bunny
          5 years ago

          The top one sounds pretty accurate only he's 40, I'm the young one in this relastionship, I'm 20 with no experience in any of this and he has been in many relastionships including a semi abusive wife, at least there divorce was abusive she litterally attacked him. He could be insecure maybe, I know he worries that i think about other men or something since he's a chubbier guy and well his appearance had to grow on me I wasn't attracted to him right away, I've told him countless times that as my feelings grew for him so did my attraction for him, anyways he feels I'm out of his league being tall and skinny and what not. It's ludicrous if you ask me, that's true maybe he's trying to push my buttons. Either way he has he knows I'm a vindictive grudge holding bitch and this would be the first hopefully last time he opens that side of me. I'm stubborn as a dead mule haha. Na I think he just needs to mature and grow up and learn to be more open with me, if he can't I fear and believe we will not last. Honesty trust and loyalty are what I cherish abobe everything and openness is right there next in line so with him being so shut in well it stings you know?

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      Precisely!

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  • manhattaninbox
    5 years ago

    You should walk away and start fresh. With all due respect, your kind of relationship with your hubby -is like a fart, if you have to push too hard, it is probably #shit-

    It takes 2 to make the thing go right, if you can´t get it when you want it, then he shouldn´t have access either. You are not a property NOR a child to be manhandled and told what to do. move on!

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  • Bailey_Rose
    5 years ago

    HAHA! The guy being the dominant hold out? That's a first!

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    • Handyman
      5 years ago

      No, he is old before his time.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    5 years ago

    Well I could understand if he thought you were trying to control him by bribing him with sex, then he'd just be taking some pride in himself and letting you know that his principles aren't for sale. But from the sounds of it you clearly weren't up to anything like that, you were just being playful, and he was just being unnecessarily cold.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      No I wasn't! We were talking some thing about reaching into pockets and I was all suggestivly saying how about I reach behind your zipper and then bam he said that. I don't understand why

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      • JellyBeanBandit
        5 years ago

        Yeah, sounds like he was just in a bit of a bad mood and took it out on you.

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        • curious-bunny
          5 years ago

          It seems he has a bad mood every day. But yea maybe, I intend to talk to him about it once he gets home from work

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          • JellyBeanBandit
            5 years ago

            That's too bad. Ok, well I hope everything works out for you with that.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I think you should learn how two spell.

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  • rayb12
    5 years ago

    I believe that is called consent

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  • trexagireve
    5 years ago

    Just do the same to him and to be sure that he is not cheating force him to wear a chastity device and we will see who will be laughing after that

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  • Honeypot2000
    5 years ago

    Man is he fooling himself or what. Lol he knows you have the control

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  • Sly2uc
    5 years ago

    Can he get in your pants anytime he wants without your permission? No matter what you say it’s ok that he forces himself on you? If you answered yes to this then you don’t know what consent means. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Oh, if you’ve lost all interest in him physically then take that whore Nikki’s advice and call his friend because you can’t have a relationship without the physical.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Yeah, he was definitely joking. He said don't worry about it, because he didn't want to explain the joke. If you explain a joke, then it stops being a joke. However, for men, it's a natural thing to want to feel dominant.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      Ah righton, just I really wish he ruined his joke, that really got to me and just I don't know things feel different now and like I don't know it really got to me

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  • Sassafras77
    5 years ago

    I think that he is more than likely
    Gonna break things off eventually the way it sounds he's trying to let u down easy ,just play about it and put it in the Lord's hand !!!

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  • strangethingshappen
    5 years ago

    Why do you have a bf? Wtf their sex freaks

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      Because I care for him and it's nice to have someone who cares for me as well

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    It just means consent. He wants to know he’s safe and that you’ll respect him.

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    Just tell him "that's ok <insert his best friends name> will fuck me whenever I want."

    That should change his mind. As women we have all the power when it comes to sex. Never give that up.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      Um yes that is true, but he also knows I would never cheat on him, plus I'm a bit more passive aggressive then that. But yea I won't give it up. Pretty much he's not getting any sex now, not even if I got in the mood. Kind if lost all my sexual attraction for him though, I hope to talk to him about it, maybe that will help I don't know.

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  • HypnoDom
    5 years ago

    There are a number of reasons why a man may not want to have sex when you want to have sex, especially if he feels like you're being controlling by demanding it.

    Or it could be a kink, enjoying giving you rules and denying you what you want or making you work harder for it.

    The real concern here is his offhand "don't worry about it." There could be some deeper, worrisome reason here. In your relationship you should absolutely feel comfortable having a frank discussion about your sexual needs and preferences. Try to talk to him again and make sure that you're empathetic and supportive to help him be comfortable enough to share.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      Yea I'll do that, he knows I like to know as much as I can and want to know about his day thoughts moods etc but my curiosity just annoys him. If he doesn't tell me I think I'm gonna tell him the sane thing till he decides to tell me

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Honey all you need to do is when he decides he wants you, tell him you're only getting in my knickers when I decide, and right now I don't want to. You had your chance the other day and turned it down, so now you can wait until I'm in the mood again.

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  • itachi_uchiha
    5 years ago

    Why does he wants to say "two"?? still wondering

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  • Handyman
    5 years ago

    He keeps it for someone else, leave him to be with that one.

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    • curious-bunny
      5 years ago

      If i ever found that out to be true I would leave him the same day. He isn't interested in sharing me and I certainly don't share my men

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Good girl don’t ever let him think he can even look at another woman while he is dating you. Always remember sex is based on you and your terms alone. Forget his desires they are not important. All that ever matters when it comes to sex is what the woman wants. Live life by those rules and you will always have a fulfilling and happy sex life.

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        • Handyman
          5 years ago

          I agree, and a man who is not ready for sex at any time is not worth keeping. Ad if it must only be on his terms, go enjoy yourself.

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