I'm so glad that my comments were of help to you, dear heart! The thing about people who have these sort of complexes is that they tend to be very controlling, and manipulative. I myself have a mother who is quite controlling, and I think that has left me vulnerable to attract, and on occasion be attracted to certain types of people. When I need a healing female presence in my life I pray the Rosary, but no one can truly heal me other than God as in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It's not easy, and it still requires much work, and dedication on my part, but it's worth it, because it's from where true healing comes. I can of course get help from doctors, and therapists as well. It's also good to look for assistance from a supervisor, or mentor in a workplace sort of situation. Everything has it's place, and time.
God bless you, Rose. I would not think of my colleague as manipulative because she just seems such a good person, perfect in every way. But looking down that list most things remind me strongly of her - and even her little pep talks and therapist-like overreaches of unwanted (and sometimes bizarrely inappropriate) advice, reflect the therapy aims in that list!
I am inappropriately obsessed with her; she is like an angel. And she triggers a fair number of my mommy issues - Rose, it seems our mothers had something in common.
I love that you find your soul's true help in Father, Son and Holy Spirit alone. I strive to as well. I love praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy but I don't understand devotion to Mary, try as I might. I would love so much to bury myself in the motherliness of such a mother if I could just make spiritual sense of why it is not idolatry to do that. So I pray the Divine Mercy on a decade bracelet that I keep discreetly on my wrist, just without the Hail Mary.
I don't have a therapist but really need one. This codependent woman is my work mentor. As for meds, I take them. Venlafaxine, and I try not to take Benzos unless I really need to...
Thanks again for your input and help. It is wonderful not to feel alone.
I'm glad I could help. Might I suggest that that you could get some books on codependency to read. A great one is called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. There are also some great books out there about Boundaries as well by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
Is this woman your direct supervisor, or a self appointed mentor type of person?
Thank you!! The school is paying her to provide the coaching. First of all though she was self-appointed and she has often blurred the lines. For example when she has tried to 'coach' me outside of coaching sessions and I have said 'we are not in coaching now!' she has said, 'Oh but I am saying this to you because you are my friend!'. And, on one occasion, 'because I love you!' What I would give to hear her say those things now...
I don't know whether to take anything she says seriously any more because none of the promises or resolutions she makes, materialize, and her past affirmations of friendship and love no longer seem to stand.
Have you had a satisfying friendship with someone with a saviour complex?
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I'm so glad that my comments were of help to you, dear heart! The thing about people who have these sort of complexes is that they tend to be very controlling, and manipulative. I myself have a mother who is quite controlling, and I think that has left me vulnerable to attract, and on occasion be attracted to certain types of people. When I need a healing female presence in my life I pray the Rosary, but no one can truly heal me other than God as in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It's not easy, and it still requires much work, and dedication on my part, but it's worth it, because it's from where true healing comes. I can of course get help from doctors, and therapists as well. It's also good to look for assistance from a supervisor, or mentor in a workplace sort of situation. Everything has it's place, and time.
Hang in there, and I wish you all that best!
--
Grunewald
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God bless you, Rose. I would not think of my colleague as manipulative because she just seems such a good person, perfect in every way. But looking down that list most things remind me strongly of her - and even her little pep talks and therapist-like overreaches of unwanted (and sometimes bizarrely inappropriate) advice, reflect the therapy aims in that list!
I am inappropriately obsessed with her; she is like an angel. And she triggers a fair number of my mommy issues - Rose, it seems our mothers had something in common.
I love that you find your soul's true help in Father, Son and Holy Spirit alone. I strive to as well. I love praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy but I don't understand devotion to Mary, try as I might. I would love so much to bury myself in the motherliness of such a mother if I could just make spiritual sense of why it is not idolatry to do that. So I pray the Divine Mercy on a decade bracelet that I keep discreetly on my wrist, just without the Hail Mary.
I don't have a therapist but really need one. This codependent woman is my work mentor. As for meds, I take them. Venlafaxine, and I try not to take Benzos unless I really need to...
Thanks again for your input and help. It is wonderful not to feel alone.
--
RoseIsabella
4 years ago
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I'm glad I could help. Might I suggest that that you could get some books on codependency to read. A great one is called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. There are also some great books out there about Boundaries as well by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
Is this woman your direct supervisor, or a self appointed mentor type of person?
--
Grunewald
4 years ago
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Thank you!! The school is paying her to provide the coaching. First of all though she was self-appointed and she has often blurred the lines. For example when she has tried to 'coach' me outside of coaching sessions and I have said 'we are not in coaching now!' she has said, 'Oh but I am saying this to you because you are my friend!'. And, on one occasion, 'because I love you!' What I would give to hear her say those things now...
I don't know whether to take anything she says seriously any more because none of the promises or resolutions she makes, materialize, and her past affirmations of friendship and love no longer seem to stand.