Have You Ever Had Sex or Wanted it With a close relative?

I am female age 44. I go through phases of extreme arousal after which I go into deep guilt for being so depraved. For years, I wanted my uncle (mother's younger brother) He's 56. I seduced him six or so months ago and then we had it several times in quick succession.

Eventually, I guilt tripped and couldn't even look him in the eye. He keeps pestering me for more. Even worse, a couple of years ago, I wanted to jerk off my 19 year old son. I just wanted to see him spurt. After a bottle of wine, I went into his bedroom and put my hand under the covers. He didn't seem to like it and told me to take my hand away. I kept my hand rubbing him. eventually he caved in and became hard and was enjoying it, but my wish to see him cum was overtaken by extreme arousal and I sat on him. He came inside me. At the time it was the most electric orgasm, but then guilt crept in.

We only did it that once. Things were awkward between us for a long time after. It took ages for us to stop feeling awkward in each other's company.