Have my gf visit her ex cross-country?

My girlfriend of two years just told me that durring her vacation time off from work that she will be visiting her ex who lives hours away in another state. She invited me to come along for the trip, but I dont really like the guy too much. I dont know about anyone else but this makes me angry. Jealous. And sad. I dont like how close they are. They message every day.
Any advice?
Edit: The guy messaged me and said he hopes I can make it. He said "I will warn u ahead of time, and im not trying steal, but ima be like glued to *gf's name* when ur here. I really miss her. She was such a close friend and just always gave off good vibes. Ya know? Weve been through alot and she still holds a huge spot in my heart not like romanticallybut platonically like family. I just miss u guys so much ur all my family and its been too long since ive had that pack family closeness. Im fam touched starved..... its... hard to explain..". If I can make it then I'll let them do as I please. But if they start to mess around I'm going back home.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 19 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • This isn't normal, their relationship is weird. But, as others have said, you can't really do much about it. And as long as there's nothing sexual between them they are technically doing nothing wrong.

    I would just tell her how you feel and say you think it best for your relationship if she stops seeing him. Be prepared for the fact that she might say no, and is perfectly entitled to do so. If she says no then... It's up to you what you do, but it might be time to end the relationship.

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    • I plan to talk to her when I see her

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    • It’s still annoying what she’s doing however I can get how it’d be irritating.

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  • Dump her ass! I don't think it's normal at all for her to visit her ex like that! I don't have any contact with any of my exes. I wouldn't trust her. Sorry, but I gotta be real with you, man!

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  • Order her not to go. You are the man and she needs to obey you! Lol. Joking. Jen may be right. She may still have a thing fir him.

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    • There's that corny old saying which used to be around everywhere on posters about if you love someone let them go and if they don't come back they weren't yours in the first place.

      I understand your unease and jealousy but you don't own her. All you can do is be honest with her about how you feel about it and wait and see what happens. I should say I'd be uneasy too in your circumstances, but it comes into the category of something you can't control, so try and make the best of it.

      I hope it works out ok for you, but if not surely it would be better to know where you stand in relation to her and her ex and that if she makes the choice which will hurt you, you can at least know you behaved in a mature way.

      Good luck!

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  • Put itching powder all over her clothes before she packs them.

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  • You’re about to be the ex!

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    • I hope not! We've been together over two years now which is her longest relationship.

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  • I have a really close friend who is also my ex (we ended on bad terms) and we've been through a lot even if I'm not even attracted to him. Really close platonic relationships aren't weird and trying to get them away without knowing how your girlfriend may feel is toxic. You could talk to her about it just so that she knows, but the guy seems to be nice and actually wanted you to go.

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  • Red Flag.

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  • In my personal opinion no matter how much I like my ex I’d cut them off for the sake of my lover. Especially if it makes them uncomfortable which it obviously is for you. Have you talked to her about it? I also just find it weird how despite he is living hours away she still wants to visit him and the repetitive texting I wonder if they have been split for a while. Guy sounds like an a hole just judging by the text he sent aswell, does she know about it?

    If you want I’d go. Maybe it’d give clear signs about where you stand.

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    • Thank you, I plan to talk to her about it when we see eachother.

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  • I use to go out with a girl and she use to message her ex and sometimes meet up it was getting to much all she said he’s a friend apart from one day I came home from work early I had half day of work and I caught them havin sex in my front room

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    • That's a shame bro, sorry to hear.
      Hopefully that won't be the case here.

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  • Why didn’t you go with her and put an intimidating glare into the guy. The subtle stare that most guys can do to other guys.

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