Helping out your mother with her studies doesn't take away any money from you, why should what you do be compared to what you want her to do be seen as the same thing?
I'm not using comparison as a justification for help, in fact I wouldn't mind it if I helped her 10X more then she helps me. My reasoning is...if someone has been good to you, and if you know this for a fact, isn't it only fair to do the same if you not only have the power, but know it's also nescessary?
I'm not saying that it's the case where everytime I need help that I feel I'm entitled to 100% of someone's attention, all I'm saying is that it's only fair to expect help when it's essential.
I really don't think I'm being too disagreeable about this. With family and friends you bond with, it's only fair that everybody is entitled to some level of help. It's human nature.
But she's the one that has helped you far more. A home, food and her raising you. You don't need help, you're just being impatient. Needing someones help is needing someone to help you get past something, not get you something sooner. If she was to turn around and say "Hey, I have raised you and helped you since you were a child. I think it's time you pay me for all the money I spent on you while raising you", does that sound fair?
Also, do you pay rent? If not, then you see what I'm going to say on how unfair it is for her for you and keeping you when she could fling you out of the home unless you pay rent.
You were fed and nurtured when you were a child. You were paid for. I think that she has done alot for you already. There is a difference between asking for helping and asking for that amount of money.
Yeah, but that's not anything extraordinary. Feeding and sheltering your kids is mandatory by law. It's not like you're doing your kids a favor that you could otherwise choose not to do. That's a bullshit argument. I would never throw that in my kids faces. I created them, I'm responsible for them.
Ever hear of child neglect? You can go to jail and have your kids taken from you if you don't feed or shelter them. Most countries have these type of laws. I live in the U.S. where they are part of the welfare and institutions code.
its tricky, She probably thinks she wont get it back, what about cosigning? also getting a contract drawn up stating you will pay her back notorized. Or giving her a check that you sign and if she cant cash it by the time you said you have the money in your account to pay her back she takes you to court? that may prove your serious about paying her back. i know some parents that ruin thier credit for the adult children, and some that wont help at all financially, and tell you to pray about it, i hope you find the middle:)
Hating your mom for not helping you buy a car, but you help her?
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Helping out your mother with her studies doesn't take away any money from you, why should what you do be compared to what you want her to do be seen as the same thing?
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I'm not using comparison as a justification for help, in fact I wouldn't mind it if I helped her 10X more then she helps me. My reasoning is...if someone has been good to you, and if you know this for a fact, isn't it only fair to do the same if you not only have the power, but know it's also nescessary?
I'm not saying that it's the case where everytime I need help that I feel I'm entitled to 100% of someone's attention, all I'm saying is that it's only fair to expect help when it's essential.
I really don't think I'm being too disagreeable about this. With family and friends you bond with, it's only fair that everybody is entitled to some level of help. It's human nature.
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But she's the one that has helped you far more. A home, food and her raising you. You don't need help, you're just being impatient. Needing someones help is needing someone to help you get past something, not get you something sooner. If she was to turn around and say "Hey, I have raised you and helped you since you were a child. I think it's time you pay me for all the money I spent on you while raising you", does that sound fair?
Also, do you pay rent? If not, then you see what I'm going to say on how unfair it is for her for you and keeping you when she could fling you out of the home unless you pay rent.
You were fed and nurtured when you were a child. You were paid for. I think that she has done alot for you already. There is a difference between asking for helping and asking for that amount of money.
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tommy81
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Yeah, but that's not anything extraordinary. Feeding and sheltering your kids is mandatory by law. It's not like you're doing your kids a favor that you could otherwise choose not to do. That's a bullshit argument. I would never throw that in my kids faces. I created them, I'm responsible for them.
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Anarchy
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I totally agree. You create your kids then you are responsible for them. Its not doing them a favor.
Mandatory? In what world do you live in?
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Ever hear of child neglect? You can go to jail and have your kids taken from you if you don't feed or shelter them. Most countries have these type of laws. I live in the U.S. where they are part of the welfare and institutions code.
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You can go to jail, or get your children taken.
That doesn't make a parent take care of his child.
In most cases, the state and law don't even know who's neglecting a child.
its tricky, She probably thinks she wont get it back, what about cosigning? also getting a contract drawn up stating you will pay her back notorized. Or giving her a check that you sign and if she cant cash it by the time you said you have the money in your account to pay her back she takes you to court? that may prove your serious about paying her back. i know some parents that ruin thier credit for the adult children, and some that wont help at all financially, and tell you to pray about it, i hope you find the middle:)