Harder this way

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4 Comments

My parents never disciplined me. Never made me have chores. When I didn't wanna go to school they let me stay home. They let me live with them into my twenties without a job. Etc.

Now society tells me that I'm spoiled like I've done something wrong. But I'm no different than anyone else.

Hardly any kids want to go to school and if their parents didn't make them they'd stay home too. I expected to be handed everything because thats the only life I ever knew.

Now I need to figure out how to do everything having never been given the opportunity to experience smaller forms of independence and responsibility and it is way harder than other people.

But somehow I am the spoiled millennial brat and my parents get the sympathy, even though they didn't do their job and I just was optimizing the situation I had.

If I did it the right way it would be like needing to be my own parent and grow up from 0 to 100 when I was only 12 and nobody was forcing me. No kid is gonna choose that.

Voting Results
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Based on 6 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Just about every young adult is convinced their parents totally screwed up their life. Deal with it.

    You're mature enough to have some insight into why you are the way you are, and you can do something about that.

    In time, you'll probably come to accept that your parents did the best they could by you. Maybe it wasn't a brilliant job and they made some decisions which seem terrible in retrospect, but even if they're a pair of narcissistic psychopaths, it was the best they could do at the time, all things considered.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I know. You're a dad yourself if I'm not mistaken. I'm gonna work on my listening, to this perspective in particular.

      Its so hard for me to feel right when my parents aren't in agreement. I feel like having my own assertions about things is some unforgivable act of defiance. Illogical I know but this surely started before I knew how anything really worked.

      But if I'm seeing it acceptable for others to take agency and own their life then I am entitled to this as well.

      Once I'm comfortable with myself and feel independent without the constant paranoia guilt/regret/embarrassment, I can truly forgive them.

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  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    It's not fair, but that's why people are quick to be bitter about it. Life is particularly unfair and uneven. Now that you're an adult you have a unique challenge: Finding out what that actually means. You're unprepared? Adapt. Or don't. The bitterness will shift as generations grow older and die off. It's harder to learn new things as an adult, but not everyone has a good example. So go find one. Or go be one. Or don't. That's a bit the point.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Bro you are so wise. I must listen to kiwis more often. As I write this I realize you are probably from New Zealand. And not a wise fruit so I no longer have a joke, but hi! And thankyou these sincerely were very well put thoughts and I so do appreciate it amigo

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