Not sure if this counts since there was no sex involved, but I emotionally-cheated once with an ex a very long time ago in a relationship I tried too hard to save. Why? I was just very unhappy after nearly 5 years of being with him, and no amount of talking it out helped because he dismissed my feelings and would just mindlessly agree with me just to shut me up while still taking money from me and all that. After speaking to my lover or whatever for the first time, I felt like complete shit and immediately end my relationship with the ex the next day.
After some time, I decided to date the new guy, because he gave me what I thought I needed. Happy ending? Haha, nope. He turned out to be emotionally abusive, but because 17 yo me wasted 5 years, this bad relationship only lasted 8 months. That was over... 5 years ago now, never cheated again since.
That's the type of relationship I don't see why people stay. If the mats dismissed your feelings, your thoughts, your cares, and they are not close to you in any bonding sort of way, I know it's hard but isn't a way out somehow better than staying for all sorts of abuse ? And yes I cheated years ago. Once or twice. Not since tho. I grew out of it. These days you have to be in a relationship in order to cheat. But I'm beyond the cheating and all that.
It's just something you got to experience. My ex and I started dating at 17. I JUST turned 17 and he already 17 (two months older). The relationship was as great as teenager can make it for the 1st year. However, he started to deteriorate as he had to help his grandmother through violent dementia and eventually her death at her home with his father (they both live there). It was a lot to handle for him being so young. Back then I didn't understand that most men were raised to not show weakness, thus holding in emotions, so when he suddenly bounced back and bought a puppy I didn't see any issues. His dad moved out shortly after his mother's (ex's grandmother) death, and left the house to his son (his dad pays bills) so he can attend college.
After a few months he applied to college and all was well. Fast forward a few months, he dropped out, he wasn't feeding his dog, he wasn't bathing, always glued to his xbox, and isn't eating well. In all this was me trying to understand and be there, doing something that was waaaaaaay above me, but thought "love" will pull us through. The change was so gradual over the years too. He wasn't abusive, he just had problems he was too stubborn to tackle and it manifested into our relationship (cause he had a lot of crying spells too). I was drained, and it felt like I was raising my ex rather than growing with him, and I didn't want to be a mom yet. Sooner or later, I lost those feelings (not sure which year), but oddly I still cared about him and didn't want to leave him alone. He got so bad, that he had to move in with this dad during the 4th year of our relationship and he wanted me to come live with him.
While deciding, I met that new guy one day, and he sweet talked me. There was no sex, but that's when I knew I had to end it if other men can make me feel this way, plus my ex wasn't alone anymore, he had this dad now. So I broke up with him the next day.
Some relationship are just weird like that, it can't always be as cutthroat, black/white as many of you are implying. I'm not trying to justifying cheating of any kind, cause I felt like shit and the new guy turned out to be abusive anyway (he knew I was already in a relationship from the start). So in the end, I just learned a lesson.
Had you ever cheated ? ......Why ?
← View full post
Not sure if this counts since there was no sex involved, but I emotionally-cheated once with an ex a very long time ago in a relationship I tried too hard to save. Why? I was just very unhappy after nearly 5 years of being with him, and no amount of talking it out helped because he dismissed my feelings and would just mindlessly agree with me just to shut me up while still taking money from me and all that. After speaking to my lover or whatever for the first time, I felt like complete shit and immediately end my relationship with the ex the next day.
After some time, I decided to date the new guy, because he gave me what I thought I needed. Happy ending? Haha, nope. He turned out to be emotionally abusive, but because 17 yo me wasted 5 years, this bad relationship only lasted 8 months. That was over... 5 years ago now, never cheated again since.
--
CDmale4fem
4 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
-2
-2
That's the type of relationship I don't see why people stay. If the mats dismissed your feelings, your thoughts, your cares, and they are not close to you in any bonding sort of way, I know it's hard but isn't a way out somehow better than staying for all sorts of abuse ? And yes I cheated years ago. Once or twice. Not since tho. I grew out of it. These days you have to be in a relationship in order to cheat. But I'm beyond the cheating and all that.
--
Tealights
4 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
2
2
It's just something you got to experience. My ex and I started dating at 17. I JUST turned 17 and he already 17 (two months older). The relationship was as great as teenager can make it for the 1st year. However, he started to deteriorate as he had to help his grandmother through violent dementia and eventually her death at her home with his father (they both live there). It was a lot to handle for him being so young. Back then I didn't understand that most men were raised to not show weakness, thus holding in emotions, so when he suddenly bounced back and bought a puppy I didn't see any issues. His dad moved out shortly after his mother's (ex's grandmother) death, and left the house to his son (his dad pays bills) so he can attend college.
After a few months he applied to college and all was well. Fast forward a few months, he dropped out, he wasn't feeding his dog, he wasn't bathing, always glued to his xbox, and isn't eating well. In all this was me trying to understand and be there, doing something that was waaaaaaay above me, but thought "love" will pull us through. The change was so gradual over the years too. He wasn't abusive, he just had problems he was too stubborn to tackle and it manifested into our relationship (cause he had a lot of crying spells too). I was drained, and it felt like I was raising my ex rather than growing with him, and I didn't want to be a mom yet. Sooner or later, I lost those feelings (not sure which year), but oddly I still cared about him and didn't want to leave him alone. He got so bad, that he had to move in with this dad during the 4th year of our relationship and he wanted me to come live with him.
While deciding, I met that new guy one day, and he sweet talked me. There was no sex, but that's when I knew I had to end it if other men can make me feel this way, plus my ex wasn't alone anymore, he had this dad now. So I broke up with him the next day.
Some relationship are just weird like that, it can't always be as cutthroat, black/white as many of you are implying. I'm not trying to justifying cheating of any kind, cause I felt like shit and the new guy turned out to be abusive anyway (he knew I was already in a relationship from the start). So in the end, I just learned a lesson.