Girlfriend refuses to have sex and will not explain why...

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  • Provided that they have the income and other resources to make it a nice family. Easy to do in Australia. Considerably more difficult (but not impossible) in the U.S.

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    • I know Lesbians here who had kids more than 30 years ago without being in closeted relationships with men, and most of them were not on high incomes. Didn't the turkey baster method originate in the US?

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      • Educated professional lesbos do the insemination thing after their career is established, not young 19 year olds that can't make it thru college. But back to the post. The behavior described by the OP suggests a closeted relationship. They still happen occasionally. Another possibility is repressed sexual abuse during childhood. Both are things he should consider.

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        • You could well be right about the second suggested possibility, which is why I suggested therapy for her could be a good idea.

          I still reckon there are other possibilities far more likely than the closeted Lesbian wanting to be a mother, apart from the fact that surely if that were the case she would be having sex with him for that reason? How did young 19 year olds that can't make it thru college get into this discussion?

          Maybe she's still in love with him but attracted to someone else; maybe he's a boring lover; maybe she knows he's thinking of having sex with someone else ........ who knows?

          If I were him I'd be showing this thread to her and asking her what she thinks is going on in the relationship described here, that might give him a clue.

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          • You might be right that closeted lesbianism is unlikely. To be sure, high and mighty chauvinism for lesbians is grossly unwarranted. I attended parochial elementary school as a kid.

            Convents back then were hotbeds of debaucherous lesbian promiscuity. Fueled by menstrual anger, butch dyke nuns would abusively kick the piss out of poor little kids in class. I still feel pins and needles just thinking about it. Of course, many lesbians are good people. Hopefully you are one of them.

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            • You are judging all lesbians by one group you encountered as a child. Apart from the fact that I don't know how you could know any convent was the short of "hotbed" you describe (sounds more like a fantasy to me), it's more likely the abusive nuns were suffering from enforced celibacy within an oppressive hierarchical organisation. Not excusing them, but their behavior wasn't necessarily linked to their sexuality.

              I'm sorry you and other kids experienced that, and also sorry that its left you with a legacy of misjudging all lesbians by your experiences.

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