Why don't you BOTH act like adults? Have a mature conversation. If she doesn't want to have sex for whatever reason, that's okay. And if you feel as though you can't live without it, you should part ways with her like a grown up. Why do you feel the need to go behind her back and cheat? Save yourselves the hassle.
She has a lot of other things to offer in a relationship that some bimbo for a one-time-lay couldn't.
We've tried talking about it and she said that she wants to have sex in general but whenever the moment comes up she doesn't feel like it and doesn't know why she feels that way. That's as far as I can get by prying into her, and it took a lot of effort to even get her to say that.
Maybe it's time for a gentle ultimatum: if she genuinely doesn't know why she doesn't want sex (any more or has she ever??) she needs to get herself some therapy and maybe if you tell her you're considering getting sex elsewhere this might give her a bit of a nudge?
You know her and IIN people don't: if she's very sensitive emotionally then I wouldn't be telling her that, just gently encourage her to get some help outside the relationship because it's important to you.
It's normal for you to want to get sex elsewhere but not a good idea if you value the relationship. She certainly won't feel like having sex with you if she finds out you've been cheating.
If you can't be honest in a relationship, it usually goes to hell. You seem like you care about her good qualities, but you wanna cheat on her. Maybe she wants good "qualities" in a guy too.
Accept her and be patient, OR be single and sleep around as much as you need to. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
I've heard of many cases where a lesbian wants a family, so she marries a guy to get it. The guy is loving, a good father, and makes a good income. She stays with him because it's convenient, but never admits she doesn't like sex with men. She locks herself in the closet so to speak. Maybe once every three months she has sex to string the guy along.
Don't know about your case, but it's a possibility to consider.
I don't know what circles you move in, but I lived as a Lesbian for more than 20 years and I NEVER came across a Lesbian like these ones you've "heard of" - you're living in the past, Lesbians can get pregnant without needing to be in a relationship with a man to do so, plenty have and will continue to do so.
Provided that they have the income and other resources to make it a nice family. Easy to do in Australia. Considerably more difficult (but not impossible) in the U.S.
I know Lesbians here who had kids more than 30 years ago without being in closeted relationships with men, and most of them were not on high incomes. Didn't the turkey baster method originate in the US?
Educated professional lesbos do the insemination thing after their career is established, not young 19 year olds that can't make it thru college. But back to the post. The behavior described by the OP suggests a closeted relationship. They still happen occasionally. Another possibility is repressed sexual abuse during childhood. Both are things he should consider.
Girlfriend refuses to have sex and will not explain why...
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Why don't you BOTH act like adults? Have a mature conversation. If she doesn't want to have sex for whatever reason, that's okay. And if you feel as though you can't live without it, you should part ways with her like a grown up. Why do you feel the need to go behind her back and cheat? Save yourselves the hassle.
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Anonymous Post Author
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She has a lot of other things to offer in a relationship that some bimbo for a one-time-lay couldn't.
We've tried talking about it and she said that she wants to have sex in general but whenever the moment comes up she doesn't feel like it and doesn't know why she feels that way. That's as far as I can get by prying into her, and it took a lot of effort to even get her to say that.
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Ellenna
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Parky_Parker
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green_boogers
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Maybe it's time for a gentle ultimatum: if she genuinely doesn't know why she doesn't want sex (any more or has she ever??) she needs to get herself some therapy and maybe if you tell her you're considering getting sex elsewhere this might give her a bit of a nudge?
You know her and IIN people don't: if she's very sensitive emotionally then I wouldn't be telling her that, just gently encourage her to get some help outside the relationship because it's important to you.
It's normal for you to want to get sex elsewhere but not a good idea if you value the relationship. She certainly won't feel like having sex with you if she finds out you've been cheating.
If you can't be honest in a relationship, it usually goes to hell. You seem like you care about her good qualities, but you wanna cheat on her. Maybe she wants good "qualities" in a guy too.
Accept her and be patient, OR be single and sleep around as much as you need to. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
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green_boogers
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I think you are right. But, nobody deserves the cruelty of forced abstinence either. This guy has got to make a move, and break up with her now.
I've heard of many cases where a lesbian wants a family, so she marries a guy to get it. The guy is loving, a good father, and makes a good income. She stays with him because it's convenient, but never admits she doesn't like sex with men. She locks herself in the closet so to speak. Maybe once every three months she has sex to string the guy along.
Don't know about your case, but it's a possibility to consider.
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Ellenna
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I don't know what circles you move in, but I lived as a Lesbian for more than 20 years and I NEVER came across a Lesbian like these ones you've "heard of" - you're living in the past, Lesbians can get pregnant without needing to be in a relationship with a man to do so, plenty have and will continue to do so.
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Provided that they have the income and other resources to make it a nice family. Easy to do in Australia. Considerably more difficult (but not impossible) in the U.S.
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I know Lesbians here who had kids more than 30 years ago without being in closeted relationships with men, and most of them were not on high incomes. Didn't the turkey baster method originate in the US?
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Educated professional lesbos do the insemination thing after their career is established, not young 19 year olds that can't make it thru college. But back to the post. The behavior described by the OP suggests a closeted relationship. They still happen occasionally. Another possibility is repressed sexual abuse during childhood. Both are things he should consider.