Girl always wants to meet but ends up flaking

So a couple of years ago I matched with this girl on Bumble. We seemed to hit it off pretty well, but when I asked her on a date, she ghosted. I can understand this, because she was about to move to Houston, so what's the point? Flash forward to this year, she had moved back and we matched AGAIN. We were talking, she seemed pretty into me, and we organized another attempt at a date. The day before, I asked her, "Hey, we're still meeting tomorrow, right?" and then she tells me she's sick and can't make it. I figured she's not really into me, but i left the door open and just said "I'm sorry, I hope you feel better, let me know if you ever want to get together"

A month later, she messages me "We never got a chance to go drinking together!" So I thought, okay... let's try this again. I organized a date for tonight, and I asked her if we were meeting, she said "yes" earlier in the day. 30 min. before our date she says her allergies are really bad and she can't make it. So I just responded "ok..." and then she said she'll make it up to me if I let her. Does anyone have experience with this? I assumed she just wasn't really into me, but why keep trying to go out with me and flaking at the last minute? Could she have social anxiety?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 12 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Ask her if she has social anxiety.

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  • This sounds like a job for the catfish dudes

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    • Well, I was thinking that too. But I have her number, so I was able to find her instagram and facebook and it all seems to check out.

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      • Its still probably a dude using someone else's name and pictures. In some cases they even get their friends to play along with this fake persona. It's pretty sad.

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      • still... could be all fake. Could have a boyfriend or she could believe that she is very ugly and chickens out at the last moment.

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  • Forget her

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  • It sounds like you're being catfished by a dude.

    Have you heard her voice before? Any video chat? I've read in your replies that you've seen her facebook and instagram, but shit like that can be faked easily, especially if you have really attractive friends who don't mind taking photos. If you haven't hear her voice, just ask her politely in a text, "Hey, I know we keep missing each other on plans, but I really want to get to you know as a person. Since I have your number, would it be okay if I call you to chat? It's sort of like a date." Cheesy, yeah, but we ladies tend to like that kind of shit.

    If "she" refuses with some stupid excuse to chat on the phone, then you might be talking to a guy.

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    • I just find it hard to fake having hundreds of friends and followers on social media with pictures going back to college (over a span of a decade) Seems like a lot of work for a couple of bogus profiles.

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      • You'll be surprised. Had a gay former-friend once scour photobucket (this was years ago) for a public profile of a girl who took pictures daily. He made sure she was the exact look, age, and such he wanted. He took her photos, downloaded them to his harddive, and then uploaded them in emails and such to men he would catfish. He had a whole system going, it was crazy. I don't even want to imagine the insane shit people do to catfish nowadays.

        You can hang onto hope if you want, the girl is probably super hot or whatever, but know when to move on.

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        • Interesting...

          She's cute, I guess I was just sort of frustrated and it felt good to sort of type that all at and vent. My only other retort is one of her followers is someone else I follow instagram (a girl I also met on a dating app) I would ask her, but I haven't spoken to her in three years so it would be a little weird, I even saw a picture of them together.

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          • Cool so you have two choices. You can either ask the girl you're trying to get with to talk on the phone or explain to the chick on instagram.

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  • It could be social anxiety but I think you're being very generous. It's more likely to be her just pissing about playing games. Personally I'd just walk away but if you want to see how she'll make it up to you then go for it. As long as you're prepared for the fact that she will probably flake again then you've not got much to lose.

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