It sounds like you feel the need to be in total control of the way your relationships progress. My guess is that the main reason for this is insecurity. You're rude and treat others badly to preemptively lower their expectations of you. You're also worried they'll discover things about you they won't like. Then you reject them before they can abandon you. My suggestion would be to work on your self-esteem so that you'll feel better about yourself and worthy of being liked for who you really are, warts and all.
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It sounds like you feel the need to be in total control of the way your relationships progress. My guess is that the main reason for this is insecurity. You're rude and treat others badly to preemptively lower their expectations of you. You're also worried they'll discover things about you they won't like. Then you reject them before they can abandon you. My suggestion would be to work on your self-esteem so that you'll feel better about yourself and worthy of being liked for who you really are, warts and all.