Friend problem

59% Normal
3 Comments

so 5 months ago i moved away from a town where i'd lived my whole life (i'm 18) to a place on the other side of the country. i have heaps of family here but i work full time and don't have the chance to really meet people my own age. my best friend (who i get along with fantastically, we've never had a fight & always have heaps of fun together) also moved here a few months after me and is at college which means she is always meeting heaps of new people. before she moved here she promised that when she met people she'd introduce them to me so we could all hang out, knowing that i wouldn't be able to meet as many people as i would have if i also went to college. but this hasn't happened, like she'll hang out with me for a few hours then go hang with her college friends separately & later say 'oh we should have just all hung out together' but it never happens & it's pretty obvious she doesn't want it to because she will act really keen but then when it comes to organizing it she'll be really vague and conveniently 'forget' about plans. i don't want it to sound like i'm possessive & controlling or whatever cos i'm not and i'm happy she has her own friends i just don't understand cos if the roles were reversed and she was the one working, i'd be inviting her to hang with my college buddies all the time! so which one of us isn't normal?

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    You are both normal.

    The harsh truth is that most people do acquire a new group of friends when they go to college/university.

    You two may drift apart, which seems like it's starting to happen now, but if you are close now, the chances are that you will always be friends even as you get older and your lives change.

    You cannot control who your friend hangs out with when you are not together. If you nag her about it, you will only push her away. Just try to make sure you see each other regularly and focus on making that time that you do spend together enjoyable. That's the only way you can maintain your friendship with her. Cut her some slack for trying to juggle her new friendships with her old cherished ones (you).

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  • twillight62
    13 years ago | pl

    It's normal to feel this way. But don't judge till you are absolutely sure. she's here mainly because of you... But y don't you make an entirely different set of friends. People move on and u can still be good friends!!!! Don't be over anxious and don't try to hard.... It will happen for u!!!

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  • neptune692
    13 years ago | pl

    You are absolutely normal its called being considerate. She is obviously having some issues in that department. Have a talk to her and tell her what you are feeling basically tell her what you typed on this site. She may be completely unaware that she is causing you too feel this way and after talking too her you may end up with a lot more people to hang out with :). But if not she probably won't have anything you would want to hear.

    Good luck.

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