I have this problem too and have been told by two boyfriends that it makes them worry about me. I think two things about this: First of all, I think zygote is right that "flirting" (smiling, laughing, open body language, eye contact) when it's unintentional comes from deeper emotional issues. In my case my boyfriend and I decided that it was related to "daddy issues" (I really hate that term, but it's a useful one because we all know what it means). but there's another point that most men don't really understand. It's that girls are socialized to defer to men. Boys are taught to be leaders and girls are taught to be followers, and if you have a compliant personality, you are more susceptible to such socialization. Men and women talk and listen in different ways. When men interrupt a speaker, it's usually to change topic or add a new point of view, but when women interrupt a speaker, it's usually to agree with him or her. Although I get that there is an immediate reality in the flirting dynamic--that is, your smiling and active listening is perceived by the guy you're talking to as being interested in him--there are also social forces at play that make this NOT YOUR FAULT! To some extent, you're just doing what every other girl is socialized to do--the only difference is that you're taking it too far. There is nothing wrong with you and this is perfectly harmless and normal. that being said, you do probably need to change your behavior because as people (and women moreso than men) we have to adapt to social norms in order to fit in. My advice is this: when you meet someone new, just try not to smile too much, watch how you're standing, and act disinterested in what they say. Don't over-correct too much, but just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Eventually you want to reach a balance between being your flirty self and presenting a socially acceptable demeanor, but just to get a feel for not being flirty, try this a few times: act like you're only talking to a guy to be polite and that you're actually trying to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible. Afterward, ask your friends or your boyfriend how you did, and get their feedback. With just a tiny bit of practice you can easily control your body language. Good luck!
Flirting without realizing
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I have this problem too and have been told by two boyfriends that it makes them worry about me. I think two things about this: First of all, I think zygote is right that "flirting" (smiling, laughing, open body language, eye contact) when it's unintentional comes from deeper emotional issues. In my case my boyfriend and I decided that it was related to "daddy issues" (I really hate that term, but it's a useful one because we all know what it means). but there's another point that most men don't really understand. It's that girls are socialized to defer to men. Boys are taught to be leaders and girls are taught to be followers, and if you have a compliant personality, you are more susceptible to such socialization. Men and women talk and listen in different ways. When men interrupt a speaker, it's usually to change topic or add a new point of view, but when women interrupt a speaker, it's usually to agree with him or her. Although I get that there is an immediate reality in the flirting dynamic--that is, your smiling and active listening is perceived by the guy you're talking to as being interested in him--there are also social forces at play that make this NOT YOUR FAULT! To some extent, you're just doing what every other girl is socialized to do--the only difference is that you're taking it too far. There is nothing wrong with you and this is perfectly harmless and normal. that being said, you do probably need to change your behavior because as people (and women moreso than men) we have to adapt to social norms in order to fit in. My advice is this: when you meet someone new, just try not to smile too much, watch how you're standing, and act disinterested in what they say. Don't over-correct too much, but just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Eventually you want to reach a balance between being your flirty self and presenting a socially acceptable demeanor, but just to get a feel for not being flirty, try this a few times: act like you're only talking to a guy to be polite and that you're actually trying to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible. Afterward, ask your friends or your boyfriend how you did, and get their feedback. With just a tiny bit of practice you can easily control your body language. Good luck!