First cousins in love forever, why can’t we act on it without judgement?

No one knows this but “A” and I are in love. I want her to know that her 1st and only true love is waiting for her. She’s recently married and has started a family. I wish her life long happiness, BUT, we are supposed to be together. It’s a dead giveaway when we look at each other. I’d give anything to wake up next to her for the rest of my life. She’s the one for me, plain and simple. If she didn’t feel the same way then I’d have dropped it years ago. She’s the love of my life.

Her face GLOWS and her eyes twinkle every time she sees me. Who knows how dumb I look, lol, punch drunk with love for her. People always think/thought we are/were together or married when we were hanging out together over the years. We’d joke about it but you could tell how much she loved the fantasy. We are both freaks. That’s my girl! My heart, my first love, my first cousin. My # 1
I grew up with her and we were very close. Then, Puberty hit... And, we both became massively attracted to one another. So much so that our moms watched us like hawks! They could see that we both started to become really good looking people, but they thought we would grow out of it after we started dating and meeting new people. Well, we did, but still had eyes for each other. 95% of cultures out there (I’m American but my family is from a SW European country), cousins can marry without any stigma attached. Unfortunately, every time we see each other, it’s the same thing. Just butterflies, blushing, and lust. I get a semi sometimes. She blushes so much and I LOVE it except everyone else can see including her husband. I feel bad because he is a great guy. And, she told me that she screamed out MY Name while having sex with him. She had to beg and plead with him, telling him that it just sounded like my name. He eventually bought it after I told her to tell him how gross that implication was. We’re first cousins ;) (Turns me on and makes her even hotter). She’s a 9 all day but because of our situation, it puts her at a 10. And, I rarely give out a 10.

We aren’t getting any younger though but I’d wait for her. Within the next 5 years, if she’s still with him then I’ll look to settle down. What do you do when you grow up with your 1st cousin who turns from girl to a fine looking woman who admittedly wants to sleep with you bc she finds you so attractive?! Sucks unless you do something about it. When we were 12 or 13 she admitted how much she was into me. She had her friends tell me “Your cousin “A” wants us to tell you that if you 2 weren’t related then she’d be all over you”. I was caught way off guard although I was so fucking turned on. Fucked me up in the head because she became even more beautiful and the exact woman I’m looking for. She challenges me, as I do her. She lives and loves with as much passion as I do. Her body is just delicious and her face is a 10. Ever since she had her friends tell me that, and over the years we have had some very close hookup calls. Alcohol helped us get so close to saying fuck it and taking the chance of impregnating her. Hate condoms! She always said how beautiful our children would be. But, as time went on and more feelings were shown, we just want to roll around in bed together every time we see each other. The sexual attraction is so noticeable too. She is beyond naturally beautiful, looks nothing like me, admitted that she was/is so into me, so how do I not give in now that we’ve gotten older? I have a feeling that she’s going to get divorced and we will end up together. I really am not rooting for divorce because I’m not like that. I want her to be happy no matter what. But, I’m giving it a bit more time before I move on. We are both in deep. The kind of love you can’t have so you fight and lash out at one another because of all the sexual tension. She used to jump in my bed when I was living at home years ago, and We’d watch some shows together. Both under the blankets and my mom would walk by 500 times an hour to make sure we werent having sex. That’s how we know how our Moms feel. They know how much love we have for each other.

Anyhow, I love you “A” !! I’m waiting for you my love. You leave him, and I’m here to catch you and make all of your dreams come true. Your 1st Cousin is and will forever be here for you. We are supposed to be together. I know we were married in a previous life. It’s just undeniable if you knew us. It’s healthy for me to release these feelings. LOVE MY GIRL, “A”
-#1 Cuz