Finding out that you are asexual
I had always been very insecure about my virginity, but it was not that I was just a virgin in reality but virgin in my head as well. I have ejaculated several times, but never while entertaining the thought of sex. To me sex is very boring, so boring that it is almost impossible to focus on. I also am attracted to women but not in the way that most guys are. I actually like girls with clothes on better than off having no interest in curves, and I have a huge passion for women's fashion. I was very ashamed of these things, but I had never seen them as connected any more than my other issues were: anger, pride, too hard on myself, etc. I had always thought my inability to think about sex was a curse, and all of my other issues were derived from that. I thought if I was to have sex that perhaps it would “fix me”, but I was unsure. Either I thought of sex as a skill to be learned so that I could have access to girlfriend level intimacy; Sex was never something that I really wanted for sex itself, but just so maybe I could feel better about myself. As far as relationships sex was the biggest obstacle, not the goal.
One day I was walking around on campus and I noticed a beautiful girl in a pretty white floral sundress. Later when thinking about the encounter and remembered that the dress was very low cut, but could not remember anything about her breasts. I thought about how strange that was for a guy my age, and thought about how I just do not really think about sex when I see pretty girls. So then I asked this question on this site: http://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/q972910-girls-how-much-sex-drive-do-you-expect-guys-to-have-how-much-should Some of the responses that I got from girls seemed to think that I was not attracted to girls at all. I found this shocking because I was not attracted to guys and loved pretty ladies. Still, I googled “what if you do not like boys or girls” and found AVEN. http://www.asexuality.org/en/
I had found the answer I had always been looking for. I was asexual and nothing was wrong with me, and I was not the only human to ever experience these things. It then became clear to me that I had been lied to my whole life and that everyone else had been too. The notion that everyone needs sex or needs to want sex to be happy and healthy is an utter lie. The notion that you cannot be attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to someone is an utter lie. The notion that everyone is having romantic feeling, crushes is an utter lie. The asexual and aromantic movements are exposing all of this once and for all.
I will look for asexual and aromantic people who still do not know the truth until everyone is found or I have died trying. The only way every Ace and Aro will be found is if everyone knows the truth, EVERYONE. I have never been happier now that I know that I am Asexual, but I want to share that feeling with all Ace and Aro people. Asexual, happy, and proud as hell. :)