I'm glad you're getting help for this situation that you're in. It does sound like there is more to it than just a fear of sex, you did say a fear of intimacy as well, which could range over a broad spectrum. Gaining confidence in yourself is paramount. Learning to accept yourself as a worthy person is what you need to do first. There will always be somebody who rejects you, it's human nature to sometimes meet somebody you don't gel with for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, just that you and that other person don't connect. You have to learn to not take it too personally.
Rejection within a relationship is a different matter because it's on a more personal level and that can be very painful, so of course, I understand your fear in that regard. You have to learn to overcome the fear and I'm sure your therapist will show you how to do that. If you really can't get to the bottom of this fear, try hypnosis, it really helps to unlock hidden emotions and clarify things. I have tried this method a few times in my life and have found out so much about myself, trust me, its worth trying it out. Your subconscious has it all stored in there, even though you conscious mind can't tap in, it's all there, just get in touch with it. An exercise I used to do with the hynotherapist was firstly to create a room I was comfortable in within my mind, then he would tell me to visualise myself as my inner child, then enter the room and he'd ask me questions about what I saw in there, who was present if anybody, how I felt and why etc. It helps to get to the bottom of any childhood issues you may have and sometimes, you get to give that inner child a whopping dose of love and empathy which is really cool, because it's teaching you how to love yourself again. It's amazing to confront yourself in a childlike state, also amazing just how powerful your mind is. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
On sex, I just want to say from a woman's point of view, that I understand your anxiety about this. Some women can be real bitches about these sorts of things, but then again, you can usually tell beforehand what sort of women they are. I don't get along with women for the most part, unless they are the "down to earth, enjoy a good laugh at a crude comment and just like to have real fun without being judgemental" sort. What I have found to be good practice when chosing female friends or even whom I will engage in conversation with is to first sit back on the sidelines a bit and just quietly watch people. Watch the women around you. Their body language will tell you pretty quickly what they're all about. Also, the way they talk, make eye contact with men will let you know what sort they are, just your good old girl next door with a heart of gold or a sexual predator who will eat you alive and expect you to be amazing in bed right off the bat, then ask for your credit cards. Just watching their interaction with other w
Fear of sex and intimacy
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I'm glad you're getting help for this situation that you're in. It does sound like there is more to it than just a fear of sex, you did say a fear of intimacy as well, which could range over a broad spectrum. Gaining confidence in yourself is paramount. Learning to accept yourself as a worthy person is what you need to do first. There will always be somebody who rejects you, it's human nature to sometimes meet somebody you don't gel with for whatever reason, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, just that you and that other person don't connect. You have to learn to not take it too personally.
Rejection within a relationship is a different matter because it's on a more personal level and that can be very painful, so of course, I understand your fear in that regard. You have to learn to overcome the fear and I'm sure your therapist will show you how to do that. If you really can't get to the bottom of this fear, try hypnosis, it really helps to unlock hidden emotions and clarify things. I have tried this method a few times in my life and have found out so much about myself, trust me, its worth trying it out. Your subconscious has it all stored in there, even though you conscious mind can't tap in, it's all there, just get in touch with it. An exercise I used to do with the hynotherapist was firstly to create a room I was comfortable in within my mind, then he would tell me to visualise myself as my inner child, then enter the room and he'd ask me questions about what I saw in there, who was present if anybody, how I felt and why etc. It helps to get to the bottom of any childhood issues you may have and sometimes, you get to give that inner child a whopping dose of love and empathy which is really cool, because it's teaching you how to love yourself again. It's amazing to confront yourself in a childlike state, also amazing just how powerful your mind is. Don't knock it till you've tried it.
On sex, I just want to say from a woman's point of view, that I understand your anxiety about this. Some women can be real bitches about these sorts of things, but then again, you can usually tell beforehand what sort of women they are. I don't get along with women for the most part, unless they are the "down to earth, enjoy a good laugh at a crude comment and just like to have real fun without being judgemental" sort. What I have found to be good practice when chosing female friends or even whom I will engage in conversation with is to first sit back on the sidelines a bit and just quietly watch people. Watch the women around you. Their body language will tell you pretty quickly what they're all about. Also, the way they talk, make eye contact with men will let you know what sort they are, just your good old girl next door with a heart of gold or a sexual predator who will eat you alive and expect you to be amazing in bed right off the bat, then ask for your credit cards. Just watching their interaction with other w